Forbidden
by gorgeousangel
Summary: It is bad enough when a man falls for a woman who is not free, but even more so when that man happens to be the king
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: They don't belong to me**.

**Here is one of my new story. Enjoy**

Her palms are sweating and tiny beads of sweat manifest themselves and make her smooth skin glistens. She had not realised before how scared she was. She is dreading this meeting but it has to be done. Her aunt had done all she could to make sure she would be presented at court and before their sovereign in fashion. She needed to get the approval of the king to marry one of his knights. She does not understand why the king needs to approve matters of the heart but then others would ask what right she has to question century old traditions and practices. Gwen feels comforted that Ewan is to be by her side throughout the whole ordeal.

Her personal maid is putting finishing touches to her hair. Melena has tied her hair into a tight ban with a few wisps of hair springing from the ban seemingly in rebellion against being so tamed. Flowers have been woven into it that match the dress that she has chosen to wear, a deep lilac velvet dress that has intricate detail around the arms and shoulders. The gown has a style which shows off her milky chocolate shoulders and dips at the chest giving a hint of but without showing too much of her beautiful shaped full bosom. She has chosen to wear no jewellery except for amethyst tear drop ear rings. She gets up to look at herself in the mirror and her maid gasps in pure delight. It does a lot to boost her fast fading bravado. Who could blame her for being nervous? She was about to face one of the most powerful kings in the whole of Albion. Fingers crossed, she would not embarrass her fiancé or herself too much.

"My lady you look absolutely beautiful. You will charm every man at the banquet tonight," she smiles approvingly.

"Thank you Melena but I don't need to charm every man. Just the king so he can give his nod of approval," she remarks with a smile.

"I am sure they all won't be able to take their eyes off of you. And that includes the king." Melena says dreamingly.

Gwen knows that with any other noble woman that remark would have been highly inappropriate but Gwen has always had an unusual relationship with her maid. They literally grew up together, Melena having come into their household when she was barely ten and Gwen was eight. Now ten years later, Gwen is on the verge of getting married. Most girls her age had already married, some having babies, but she had not wanted to hurry into marriage much to the frustration of her father. He had hoped to have her married and settled by the time she was ten and six. Nonetheless, her doting father was rather indulgent when it came to her and had not forced her to choose from the many suitors she had had pursuing her. He had known that she had a level head on her shoulders and he wished that she would find the same love that he had with her mother. As fate would have it, everything had changed when her father had fallen suddenly ill.

As she swishes the dress around whilst standing in front of the mirror, Gwen has to admit to herself she looks good. She loves the feel of the fabric on her skin and the colour sets off her skin tone in a flattering way. She puts on her matching slippers and prays once more that she can pull it off. She waits for her intended to come and escort her to the throne room where she will be introduced to King Arthur for the first time.

There is gentle knock on her chamber door and Melena goes to answer it. Sir Ewan is standing outside dressed in all his finery.

"Is my lady ready, Melena", he asks politely.

"She is ready, sir." Melena replies as she steps aside to allow Sir Ewan and his servant Grenville in.

Sir Ewan reaches Gwen in three strides, kissing her hand and presenting her with a deep red rose that he had been hiding behind his back. She gasps in delight. She has always found pleasure in flowers, especially wild ones.

"A beautiful flower for a beautiful lady," he says, with something in his eyes that Gwen in her naivety does not quite understand.

"Oh my goodness, it's lovely. Thank you Ewan." She blushes and lifts up her eyes to him and turns full circle seeking his approval.

"You look so beautiful Gwen," and she can tell he means it but just to be sure…

"You really think so Ewan?" she asks uncertainly.

"No one will rival your beauty tonight." he says sincerely and Gwen looks into his eyes and believes him. It somehow settles the butterflies in her stomach a bit. "In fact, I have a mind to keep you locked away here instead," Ewan says smiling and offering Gwen his arm.

"My Lady, would you do me the honour of allowing me to escort you to the banquet tonight?

"Most certainly, my Lord, "she says taking his offer.

They leave Gwen's chamber, servants trailing behind them, and make their way to the great hall where the banquet is being held.

There are many noblemen outside the throne room waiting to be announced. At last it is their turn and the Master of Ceremony announces their entrance.

"Presenting Sir Ewan Sutton of Devon; and the Lady Guinevere Leodegrance of Kenilworth!"

A number of people turn to gaze at them and Ethan and Guinevere smile acknowledging their curiosity. Many of the nobles present already know Sir Ewan as he has been serving as a knight since he was but a boy. However, very few have met Guinevere as she has rarely visited the castle. She never really enjoyed the idleness of court life. She always enjoyed work although her station tended to limit the sort of work that she could do without raising the eyebrows of her watchful aunt and guardian and society in general. Her father had realised her love for horses earlier on in her life and had let her have freedom in that regard. She had found that she had a way with horses and could tame even the wildest of them. Now that her father had passed on, she was having problems convincing her rather conservative straight laced aunt to let her continue working with them. Her aunt seemed to think that while country gentility were not as strict as the towns people, still one ought to stick to what was considered proper by one's peers. Unfortunately, to her aunt, messing with horses was not one of those things. Sometimes her aunt made her feel suffocated as she missed the freedom that her father had brought her up with. She should be grateful that a nasty cold had prevented her aunt from coming to court with her. Since the trip could not be postponed, she had reluctantly let her niece travel with the strictest instructions to her maid to make sure Gwen behaved in an appropriate fashion.

Ewan and Guinevere move around the gathered nobles, conversing with a few and Ewan introducing Gwen to a number, most of them fellow knights and their wives. Eventually the king is announced and the company parts in the middle as they bow down and curtsey to their sovereign. Gwen does the same with everyone else until the king is seated. Once again Gwen feels her stomach knot as Ewan tugs her forward towards King Arthur and they stop at a respectful distance from the throne. They once again bow and curtsey until the king gestures with his hand to show that they could stand upright. Gwen keeps her head down terrified to look at the King.

"My Lord, may I present to you Lady Guinevere of Kenilworth. The king beckons them to approach the throne and addresses Gwen first.

"My Lady, it is a pleasure to meet you," he says smiling at Gwen and he doubts that she sees it because her head is still downcast. He notices that her skin tone is different. It looks like the sun had bestowed a sweet kiss on it. The dress lovingly shows off her curves. _Curves like hers should be outlawed_. _They do things to a man's imagination that can get him into a load of trouble._ As she curtseys, he catches a glimpse of her ample bosom and heat builds up in his loins tightening his gut. Her curly hair is struggling against being tamed, such that a few tendrils escape the ban and gently caress her beautiful neckline. He feels a sudden urge to trace the path that one is going, _with his mouth_. _Lord have mercy!_ He shakes his head a little trying to get himself to focus on Ewan and not the enchanting creature before him_. _But again he finds he cannot focus and mentally wills her to lift up her head and it frustrates him when her eyes remain firmly fixed on a spot on the floor somewhere_. _What would people think if they knew their king was feeling like a randy juvenile? _What is going on here? _

As if in answer to his earlier prayer, Guinevere lifts up her head and he finds himself mesmerised by liquid pools of almond-brown eyes and the most enchanting face he has ever had the fortune to encounter. A beautiful but shy smile is on her lips. The king realises what a dangerous path he is treading on, but finds that for all the power he wields in this world, he has no power to stop his body from responding to another man's woman's charms.

Guinevere has her first encounter with the king. She has only come to court twice before, both times when both her parents were still alive. She never had any contact with the then prince. She realises that the reports of his good looks do very little to prepare one to meet him in the flesh. This man should not be allowed to roam around. He should be caged and labelled "dangerous". _And his voice will melt snow in winter. _Gwen's heart flutters like a little fledgling and her cheeks flush a bright red when she realises she is staring with her mouth slightly agape. She slams her lips shut but finds herself looking into the most intense blue eyes she has ever seen. Those eyes seem to be watching her closely with interest which does nothing to lessen her apprehension. She nervously bites her lip and realises that the king's eyes drop and fix on her mouth. It makes her throat dry and she swallows hard. She wonders later how she managed to remember to reply him at all.

"The pleasure is all mine sire", she replies, her voice huskier that normal. She wonders briefly if her face does not resemble the colour of beetroot. How she wishes the attention was not on her right now. She takes a peek at Ewan quickly and realises that he does not pick up on her discomfort and gives an inward sigh of relief. But as she glances at the king again, she quickly realises that nothing misses the attention of those blue eyes_. Oh heavens let me die, now please_.

"Are you any relation to Sir Thomas Leodegrance?" the king enquires of her.

"Yes my Lord, he was my father," Gwen says, her expression becoming pensive and sad.

"May I extend my condolences on the passing of your father? He was a great man and he served my father and the kingdom well. He will be greatly missed."

"Thank you sire, he will indeed".

"Sir Ewan, for what reason do you seek my audience this day."

"Sire, I have come to seek your permission, to take the Lady Guinevere as my wife," Ewan asks nervously. It is tradition to seek the permission of the king when about to marry if you are noble and although it was very rare for the king to refuse to give his permission, it is not totally unheard of.

Arthur is stunned for a minute. It suddenly occurs to him that although he has just met this woman something cringes in him at the thought of giving his permission for her to be married to another man no matter how honourable. But how does one object, even with the authority of a king? It would be hardly fair to deny them happiness with each other because the king has realised feelings of lust for the lady in question. He is not that type of man.

"You have served me faithfully Ewan and I have come to know you as a man with a good head on your shoulders. The lady's family is well known to myself and I know them to be loyal subjects of this kingdom." He pauses as he takes a quick glance at Guinevere whose eyes are now glued to the floor again.

"Very well Ewan, I think you have chosen well. I grant my blessing and wish you the very best".

"Thank you sire," Ewan replies gratefully letting out a sigh of relief.

He bows, she curtseys again and realising they have been dismissed move away from the king's seat. Gwen does not risk lifting up her eyes again and moves away with her fiancé wondering what had possessed her to behave in such a shameful manner earlier. If her aunt had been here, she would have surely got a tongue lashing. She hopes that for the rest of her visit here, she will not have to interact closely with the king.

They spend a few more moments talking to other people in the room. Gwen finds that she has very little in common with most of the ladies that are around the room. It reinforces to her why she has avoided coming to court frequently. These ladies with their delicate sensitivities, manners and soft hands would probably find her love for horses and the work she did with them something to be frowned upon. Most of them probably spend their days practising their stitches or embroidery, something Gwen always thought was too boring for words. Even as a child sitting still for any length of time made her body spasm and unfortunately little had changed with age. So here she was about to marry a man of the court and she feels like a fish out of water. Hopefully she would not embarrass him too much. She keeps casting an eye towards the throne hoping that the king will announce dinner soon so that she could find something else to occupy her mouth with and not have to pretend to be interested in idle chatter. She sighs in relief when the king gets up and announces for everyone to join him in the great hall. As he stands up, he happens to look in Gwen's direction and to her eternal embarrassment his eyes meet with hers. He offers a tentative smile and Gwen blushes as she draws her eyes from his and quickly averts her eyes. Inwardly she is groaning with mortification. _How will I survive this? _She wonders in despair_._

Everyone files into the said hall. For Gwen, she is hoping that she will sit as far away as she can from the king. She has embarrassed herself too many times already and does not want to add any more to her growing list of regrets. Unfortunately this time the answer to prayer is definitely not what she hopes for, because as they get inside the hall, the king summons Ewan to come and sit close to him. It seems she is meant to make a complete and utter fool of herself the entire evening. She finds herself seated a seat away from the King who occupies the seat at the head of the long table. In between them sits a raven- haired porcelain skinned lady whom she assumes must be the king's intended. She feels a small twinge of something she cannot identify in the region of her chest that she quickly dismisses.

The fair skinned woman leans towards Gwen and introduces herself.

"I'm the Lady Morgana. I'm afraid I have not had the pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"Lady Guinevere, at your pleasure my lady. It is my first visit in six years."

"Really? Should we be offended that you have shunned us at court for so long?"

_Oh no_, Gwen thinks her face flushing with a red tinge. _I knew this would not go well. Ok what to say, what to say. "_Um-m….."

The lady besides her bursts out laughing; which startles Gwen and it is only then she notices the impish twinkle in the lady's eyes.

"I'm sorry Lady Guinevere. I'm just jesting with you. I don't blame you. It can be rather boring here." the last part gaining her a disapproving glare from a rather matronly looking lady sitting next to Ewan.

"I must warn you, the Lady Morgana has a naughty streak in her. Watch yourself around her," the king laughs as the said lady jabs him playfully.

Two things strike Gwen; that she had not realised the king had been listening to her conversation with Lady Morgana; and that the Lady and the king seem awfully close. She feels like a knife has just gone into her heart which is ridiculous because who gets jealous of someone they hardly know, right?

"Don't listen to him. His opinion is rather biased and is of no consequence. By the way please call me Morgana. I'm not much for formality."

Gwen figures that is true seeing the way that Morgana relates with the king. The king just smiles at her indulgently and Gwen realises that they must have known each other for a very long time for them to be so comfortable in each other's company.

"Then I must insist that you call me Gwen," she says, a delighted smile on her face. At least Morgana is not stuck up like the other ladies she had met so far.

"Gwen it is then. I like you. I have a feeling that you and I are going to be good friends. You are different from all these stuffed nosed nobles around here." Morgana smiles, the last bit in a not so quiet conspirator whisper.

Gwen giggles and thinks that maybe this might not be so bad after all.

"If I were you Guinevere I would run a mile. That is surely a sign of trouble." Gwen is surprised to hear the king badging in again. Ewan and Gwen laugh at the good natured banter between the other couple.

Morgana sticks her tongue out at the king and right there Gwen realises just how different Morgana is to the people around them. In spite of her earlier feelings, she cannot help but like the other lady.

Arthur's inside warm up as he hears Gwen's tinkle of merriment. He has found it difficult to take his eyes off Guinevere all night. To distract himself, he gestures for his servant Merlin to refill his cup. Merlin ambles over and he is pouring bends over and whispers to Arthur, "You do realise how obvious you are being, don't you?" he mocks the king.

"Shut up Merlin," Arthur admonishes, casting a quick eye towards his sister and Guinevere to make sure they did not hear. He notices they did not and neither did Ewan who is now conversing with the lady next to him. Merlin laughs as he moves backwards to his original place behind the king

"So I hear that you are to be married." Morgana jumps to another topic leaving Gwen's mind reeling. _My gosh! She is like a ball of fire_. Gwen realises she needs to keep on her toes if she is to be friends with this one.

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**A/N Please let me know what you think. **

**I have made up some of the places that I am using in this story. I tried to research but could not find what I wanted. Anyone who knows where I can get information on estates in Albion and wars that would have been fought during the Arthurian era, please help. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I don't the Merlin on tv just the one in my head**

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews. You guys are so-o the bomb.**

**I'm glad you liked the first chapter. I hope you like this one just as much. **

**I had to change Gwen's maid's name to Relena. My thanks to the guest reviewer who made me realise the meaning of melena. I'm sorry, I really didn't know.**

**Anyway enjoy!**

Arthur finds it difficult to sleep. Every time he thinks of the night before, he groans, discomforted. How is it possible that a normally confident person like him could be reduced to a babbling idiot by a lady who has barely reached the age of womanhood? Given, he has never found it easy being around women, taking into account that most women that he has associated with have had their sight on the crown more than being interested in him as a person. After several such encounters with the members of the fairer sex, he made a vow that he would marry the person he wants to be with and none of the power mongers hoard. Unfortunately it seems like all his peers are pairing up except for him. Sir Percival got married just a winter ago and Sir Leon would be married by spring. Although he is not particularly worried, sometimes he despaired in ever finding what he is looking for. The good thing is he is still quite young, barely twenty winters. He always thought that he would have more time before he was encumbered by the weight of being a king, but his father's succumbing to a fever just the winters before last had ensured the end of that dream. He is still settling into his role and there is already mounting pressure from the council for him to choose a wife. So far he had diffused the exigencies, but he has a suspicion that it is just the calm before the storm. Hopefully by the time the storm comes, he would have met someone that he could give his heart to. _Someone like Guinevere, _he catches himself thinking. _Woah! Not again_! _Why am I thinking about her again?_ You would think his brains would be tired of dwelling on the same subject by now, given the fact that that is all he has done throughout the night. He groans again, bounding off the bed. He might as well get up if he is not going to sleep. Dawn is fast approaching and as he walks towards his window that overlooks the courtyard and entrance to the castle, he wonders if the lady in question has been thinking of him as much as he is thinking about her. Part of him wishes she is but the nobler side thinks that she should not be.

Arthur remembers how last night it had seemed she was never far from his mind. He had tried to ignore what he is feeling, honestly he had. He had tried to keep away from her if only to save himself embarrassment. However he hastily grasped that somehow he could not stay away and he seems to act in a weird way around her, all clumsy and tongue tied. _Maybe he was spending too much time with Merlin_. He tried to avoid her but it seemed like he was deemed to fail in his quest. Everywhere he turned, it seemed she was there. Or maybe his eyes were unknowingly seeking her out. It was so peculiar, the way their eyes kept searching for the other. The feelings she is invoking in him are unusual. He does not understand exactly what is happening between them. All he knows is that he is extremely drawn to this woman. He is not sure what kind of woman she is. But he is sure of one thing; that she is a decent girl and he is not going to be the one to ruin her reputation. He sighs audibly feeling narked. _Why can't things ever be simple with him_? One would think a king could get things easily, just command and boom it is done.

Forbidden Forbidden Forbidden Forbidden Forbidden

Relena is surprised to find Gwen in bed the next morning, something that has rarely happened since their mutual childhood. Gwen has always been up before sunrise, an act that used to vex her parents especially when she was younger because they had needed no servant to wake them up when their daughter was around. She would badge into their chambers and jump around on their bed excited to greet the new day. Since her mother had not been a morning person, this was never greeted with enthusiasm. Her father would find himself commanded to take their daughter somewhere else so that the lady of the house could have a few more hours of sleep.

Relena hesitates briefly, wondering if she should leave her mistress to lie in for a little longer, but also knows that Gwen might not appreciate the gesture. He lady had indicated the previous night that she meant to visit the stables before most nobles were up, wanting to have a peek at the King's famed steeds. Relena had protested somewhat half-heartedly pointing out how the king might take offense if she does not seek his permission first. However, Gwen was of the opinion that she could sneak in and out before the king knew she had even been there. Relena, knowing that her mistress would do as she pleased anyway, granted her reluctant consent and suggested she accompany her. Gwen had refused stressing that it would be easy for one person to slip in than it would be for two people. Relena had been happy to not have to go with her mistress, never understanding Gwen's fascination with the creatures. She only got near horses when she really needed to.

Relena draws the heavy drapes aside allowing the first hints of the coming light to invade the room. Gwen reluctantly opens her eyes half- mast closing them again briefly as they protest against the harsh invasion of the light. She blinks several times then uses her knuckles to rub against her eyes before sitting up suddenly. She remembers suddenly that she has a mission and scrams out of her bed. Relena already has her bath ready for her, and a buttercup yellow dress that catches below her chest and accentuates her ample bosom has already been laid out for her. Against Gwen's avowals, Relena threads ribbons of the same colour as her dress into Gwen's curls citing how she has to look good even when the only company to appreciate it are horses. Gwen snorts in a very unladylike manner but decides not to waste her energy arguing with Relena who could be just as stubborn as she is. So she takes the path of least resistance. As she gets ready for her little adventure, she wonders briefly whether she would see the king today. She knows that there is training scheduled for the first part of the day as Ewan has to attend. He had begged her pardon for not being able to be with her during the day but they arranged to have dinner together in the evening.

Gwen manages to get out of the castle, barely noticed except by the guards that are on duty and a few servants that are already bustling to get ready for the new day. Her cloak billowing around her, she scarpers quietly in the direction of the stables, one of the two things she made it a point to know the location thereof the minute she arrived at court. Looking around, she dashes trying to make it to the stables before anyone stopped her. She gets there at no time at all. When she realises she is alone in the stables, she smiles and moves towards the stalls.

He is about to turn and walk back to his bed when a shadow catches his attention. Even from his elevated position, he can tell it is a woman. He squints his eyes, trying to get a clearer vision of who could be walking at that time of the morning. By the way she carries herself, she is definitely not a servant. Most nobles he knows are never up before the sun is high. So if that alone is not raising his suspicion, the way she looks around and then darts quickly away from the castle does. He springs towards his closet and grabs a cloak vaulting towards the steps which he takes two at a time so that he can quickly catch up with the mysterious lady before he loses sight of her.

Arthur passes several guards on duty and a few servants as he walks quickly out of the castle and notices the lady rounding the corner and up the path that leads to the draw bridge. His sense of curiosity spiked. Whatever this woman was up to could not be good. From such a distance, he cannot tell who she is. As she keeps walking, he realises that she is taking the path towards the stables where his precious mounts are. He wonders if she means to ride but promptly dispels that theory as he considers that she is not wearing any riding garments. Maybe she is a thief, and means to purloin his high breed stallions and mares. Well, today is not her lucky day. He would catch her in the act and there would be no denying.

Gwen giggles like a child let loose in a sweet shop. The king clearly believes in getting the best. Gwen feels like she is in paradise. She walks around the stalls, touching this horse and that. She would have loved to have brought them carrots but was not sure if anyone else besides the stable hands were allowed to feed them. She certainly would not like to be accused of anything sinister if any were to fall sick. She especially is attracted to a brown stallion that has a pale face. She rubs his muzzle and delights in the feeling of the horse nuzzling her hand. She has been away from home for a little below a week and yet she misses her horses like no other thing. This is the reason she knows she can never stay anywhere where she cannot be with them. She burrows into his long neck, whispering unintelligible words to him and he sniggers in response. She laughs in response wishing she could ride this delightful creature. She would bet her whole year's allowance he is fast and strong, imagining the strong taut muscles against her thighs. Not many things give her as much pleasure.

"His name is Excalibur and he looks just as in love with you as you are with him," a voice supplies seemingly coming from the stable walls.

Gwen jumps so much and tries to turn so fast at the same time that she loses her balance. She is almost glad when a set of muscular arms reach out and stop her from falling flat on her face. "Almost" because the minute she feels the arms on her body she is not sure what would have been better, embarrassment from falling before the man who happens to make everything in her dissolve into liquid; or the feeling that hits her the minute he touches her. It is the kind of feeling that makes one forget she is betrothed to someone else and just want to swoon into this most attractive man's arms. A moment or two passes while they stare mesmerised in each other's eyes, none wanting to be the first to break contact.

Arthur inhales her scent, making his head twirl in pleasure. The purpose of his walk here totally forgotten, his eyes shift sub consciously towards her luscious lips and his head starts descending towards the target. His lips are already tingling with anticipation and just as his lips are close to touching hers, the shuffling of feet cruelly jerk him back to reality. He quickly lifts up his head and lets go of her suddenly stepping backwards putting a more appropriate distance between them. It is bad enough to be found alone with her, but if they are to be caught in each other's arms, that would surely ruin both their reputations; hers more than his most likely. Some servants are terrible gossipers. It would not take more than a day for the whole castle to know. Caius, the head stable hand, enters moments later. Arthur is not sure if he is relieved or not that they were disrupted. It is probably for the best. He had been about to enter into the dangerous territory. He had never before had his sight let alone kissed a woman who was attached to another man. It will be hard but he is to resist these urges around her. T_hat was way too close_. What is it about this woman that makes him forget himself? He wonders briefly what would happen if he were throw caution to the wind just for moment and find out what it felt like to have her beautiful body in his arms, his lips connected to his. He shakes head in an attempt dispel these thought that creep on him. Such thinking could only result in trouble. He clears his throat.

"Good morn Sire; my lady, Caius says looking puzzled. "Did you wish to ride this morning?"

"Good morn, Caius. I was just coming to check on Excalibur when I met the Lady Guinevere going for a walk. She told me about her love for horses and I invited her to walk with me so I could show off our famed stable." Arthur fibs, casting a quick glance at Gwen who is clearly blushing and trying to disguise it by bending her head low_. I'm going to burn in hell._

"If I may say so my lady, we have the finest horses in the five kingdoms. His majesty certainly knows good breeding when he sees it."

Gwen is thankful they are talking about horses; something she can talk about even in her sleep because her brains had turned to mash the minute Arthur touched her and had rendered her incapable of intelligible conversation. _Oh Lord, what just happened? What is it about this man that makes her feel reckless? This is not good._

"You have such an impressive stable. I do know quite a bit about horses and I must say I have never seen finer ones," she says excitedly, her face radiant and animated.

Arthur feels something in him leap at her enthusiasm and cannot help but think how infectious her excitement is. So anyone could pardon him for what came out of his mouth next.

"Lady Guinevere, would you like to take a ride with me tomorrow?" Then he realises what he just asked," I mean of course not just me … because that would be terribly improper, but maybe we could invite… um-m I mean I could invite Morgana as well…. of course…" Arthur wills his mouth to shut up but it seems like it has a resolve of its own. _Can people be muzzled? If Merlin could see me now! _Thank heavens Caius has scuttled somewhere else. If he had heard him he would have had the council vote him out of power.Who would entrust a kingdom to a man who cannot even talk a lady into a outing without tying his tongue up into knots.

"I would love to, my lord, and of course Morgana… because yes it would be well… we can't just go riding on our own can, we?That would be… you know…" Gwen listens to her own voice and is disconcerted._ Anyone listening to them would have thought there was a bumbling competition going on. _Her eyes wide, she looks at Arthur and the moment their eyes connect, she bursts out in laughter. Arthur joins her and soon they are bowed over trying and failing to contain their mirth. Without realising it they have drift closer to each and Arthur has his hand on Gwen's shoulder. They sober up immediately and Arthur clears his throat and steps back once more.

"Pardon me, my lady. Um-m I will extend the invitation to Ewan as well. He can be excused from training for tomorrow." It occurs to Arthur a tad too late that the appropriate thing would have been to invite Ewan first.

"Thank you, Sire. I am looking forward to the ride. I quite enjoy horses."

"Yes I can tell you love them judging by the way you were hugging my horse earlier." Arthur teases earning himself a self-conscious laugh from her. He cannot help admitting to himself that he truly is enjoying speaking to this woman, no matter how unseemly he knows it is. Since the previous day, the conflict between right and wrong seems to be not so defined when it came to Guinevere. Too many times since he met her, he has found himself wishing for things he should not. A part of him begs him to tread with caution but unfortunately that part is not the winning any trophies at the moment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: "I don't own Merlin, I wish I did though."**

**A/N Thank you to everyone who reviewed. Love you guys: Kohimoana, arthurgwen2010, Ellarose(wow!), the amazing larasmith, WhoNewbie, PrincessJennifer, whitecrossgirl ( I love your fics), bbrownsugar, lailastar, freckled98,darkrose,lilj, jadziwine, evalilly, crystal1998, Embrasia(I love your stories),Rose, Cici, Pea, LonerSun and all guest reviewers. Thank you for all the favourites and alerts. You make writing a pleasure and I am honoured that you are reading and liking my stories.**

**Okay enough of the tears. **

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"Arthur, do you know what you are doing?"

Arthur decides to duck his eyes so that _he_ will not see that he is deliberately feigning innocence or ignorance. "What do you mean?"

"Are you deliberately being obtuse? Or maybe I was right all along, maybe you are as simple minded as I have always thought."

"Mer-lin, you can't talk to me like that; I'm the king." Like that has ever stopped _him_ from calling him all sorts of names. But these are desperate times and they call for desperate measures, like pulling rank.

"It's at times like these that I wonder if you were not dropped on your head when you were a baby." Then Merlin mumbles under his breath. "Knowing your father, he probably thought it was a form of entertainment."

"What was that?" Maybe he can divert Merlin's attention or just buy himself some time to think because in retrospect he is not sure he had been thinking when he invited Gwen for a ride. But then he realises that whenever Gwen is around, thinking for him goes out the window. For someone who keeps promising himself he needs to keep away from her, given _her um-m situation, _he seems to spend an awful amount of time thinking up ways of spending time with her. _Maybe I'm a masochist and I just don't know it. _Given that now he has had to invite Ewan and Morgana along for propriety's sake he must be into self- mutilation. There is no other explanation. Now he will have to spend the entire day watching Gwen with her betrothed, which he is not sure he can handle gracefully; but worse he will have Morgana's and Merlin's hawk like eyes on him. Merlin, he could handle _maybe_, but Morgana is like a dripping from a leak on the roof when it's raining, persistent and irritating. _Maybe Merlin is not wrong after all._

"…. realise that you can give yourself away. If I can see it, anybody can."

_What is Merlin talking about? I wasn't listening._

"Merlin, what are babbling about? Get me my white tunic."

"Trying to look angelic are you? It won't work. You don't have the morals let alone the disposition of an angel. And God knows there is nothing angelic about your motives." Merlin hands Arthur the said tunic.

"Merlin stop speaking in riddles, it doesn't make you sound wiser. You just sound as ridiculous as you normally do."

"Gwen." That single word makes Arthur stop in his tracks for a moment or two, before recovering quickly and resorting to his normal tactics whenever Merlin is saying something he does want to hear.

"It's _Lady Guinevere_ to you, Merlin. Will your insolence never end? If you insult her I will have your tongue."

"See, that is exactly what I mean. You just can't help yourself, can you?"

Arthur sighs exasperated. Of course he knows what Merlin is talking about. He just will not admit it to him nor does he know how to stop; stop thinking about her or dream about her or imagine her in his arms, at last finding out how soft those tantalising lips are. His body reacts to that one and he silently groans. Well he can't get away from the outing that he himself initiated, can he; not without causing offense, he reasons. When he thinks of Guinevere's animated face when she was with the horses, he cannot in good conscience disappoint her, can he? It does not occur to him excusing himself from the ride but begging them to continue with the outing without him could still have accomplished the goal. But then he has forgotten about Merlin, who at this moment sounds like he has been possessed by Morgana's relentless spirit. Arthur does not feel like discussing his feelings, which he is still not sure about, with Merlin.

"Arthur, I can see that you like Gwen…," then when he gets a look from Arthur, "… I _mean Lady Guinevere, _although she told me she prefers to be called Gwen…"

"What? When did she say that to you? And why would she be saying that to you. She never asked me…" he catches himself before he reveals all but unfortunately Merlin has already caught on.

"Are you jealous? Arthur if you haven't noticed she is not yours to be jealous over." That felt like a dart went into Arthur's heart, and not just the proverbial one. Arthur almost clutches his heart in agony. "Anyway I met her by the stairs when I was coming here from the stables. She is not stuck up like you and the other nobles who insist on reminding us all of their station at every turn."

"I am not jealous." He insists in outrage, and on hearing himself, even he thinks he sounds ridiculously defensive. "Anyway, I don't need to explain myself to the likes of you." _Might as well dive in, if it will stop Merlin from nagging. _And honestly because he can't help it he asks, "So-o where was Lady Guinevere going?"

"Why do you want to know?" Merlin asks suspiciously knowing it will only further rile his master.

"Mer-lin, do you want to spend the rest of the day in the stocks? If you know what's good for you you will answer my question promptly."

"Okay, okay, don't get your breaches in a twist…"

"Mer-lin!" Arthur's teeth are clenched so tight that Merlin can hear them grinding. Arthur's hand is reaching out for a goblet and Merlin knows how this is going to end, the goblet connecting with a part of his body

"Hold your horses, Sire. Before you hit me with that I must tell you that Gwen, I mean the Lady Guinevere and I are now friends. If she were to hear that you, his royal kingliness are in the habit of throwing things at me, her friend…"

"You wouldn't dare." Arthur is looking so menacing that Merlin wonders if this time he has gone too far. But Merlin being Merlin has never backed down from anything in his life.

"Well, I could be persuaded otherwise…"

"Merlin I will count to three…"

"Alright, if you must know, she was going to the armoury."

"Armoury? Why?"

"She is apparently a very good archer and she wanted to see what we have."

"Really! So why did you not tell me the minute you got here."

"Well, firstly because you did not ask and secondly, I don't see how that is any of your business what she does in her spare time."

"Merlin I am the king," making Merlin snort but Arthur continues, "As the king I should know everything that goes on in my kingdom." Merlin has a glint in his eyes and Arthur knows it spells trouble so he back tracks. "I mean not everything, everything, just the important things.

"Oh and how does Gwen, (that eye again) Lady Guinevere's going to the armoury classify as an important detail."

"Whatever Merlin, you should just tell me these things. So how good is she at archery?"

"According to Relena…"

"Who is Relena?"

"Gwen's (and ignoring Arthur's talking eye and just rolls his eyes before continuing) maiden servant. Apparently Gwen is their local champion."

"Don't you mean ladies champion?"

"No I mean champion, as in she has beaten men as well."

"Well it is a small estate… ". Then a light bulb went off in his head much to Merlin's despair. "Maybe she would love to compete here, where there is more of a challenge."

Merlin is regretting ever telling Arthur anything. He does not like the scheming smile on Arthur's lips.

"Arthur whatever you are thinking, don't."

"Whatever do you mean Merlin?" And he has the audacity to look the picture of innocence.

"Arthur, I thought you resolved to stay away from Gwen?"

"Yes and I will. Nothing has changed."

"So this competition you are planning in your big head has nothing to do with her whatsoever."

"Of course it does Merlin. She is visitor to Camelot and we need to show hospitality to all our visitors. So we cater for all their needs and ensure they enjoy their time with us. For the Lady in question, her interests happen to be in areas where most ladies of the court are not interested in. I, as the king, mean to make she does not feel left out and lonely."

"So you are going to make sure you keep her entertained? Arthur, this is one of those times when I tell you that this is not a good idea and you …."

"..ignore you, yes Merlin. Now can you get ready? I don't want to be late for the outing."

Merlin sighs, at a loss on what to do. What do you do when you see a friend rushing towards a raging bull? The problem is, Merlin can tell Arthur is out of his element. His mind is telling him to be cautious and withdraw from Gwen and his heart can't help but be drawn towards her. Arthur being a person who is more heart that head, cannot control where his heart is pulling him towards. Merlin wishes there was a spell he could use to stop the stampede that is surely coming his friend's way.

Having hung around Ewan the night of the feast, Merlin knows that the knight is in love with Gwen although the said lady does not seem to realise it. He had seen Ewan's eyes following Gwen's form throughout the night. The lady herself seemed to like him enough but Merlin did not get the impression that she was madly in love with him. And if there was anything Merlin was good at, it was reading people. She did not have the same stars in her eyes for Ewan that he seems to have for her. If truth be told, he actually saw more fire in her when she and Arthur were busy giving each other eyes the day of the feast than she had for Ewan. Merlin almost wishes Gwen was in love with Ewan, then she would not fall for Arthur's charms, which Merlin knows will be switched onto full blast very soon. Their attraction to each other was too strong for them to keep resisting. Problem is, Ewan is quite a nice guy, but so is Arthur. He knows that Arthur is noble and is not deliberately setting out to steal Ewan's beloved from under his nose. It's just that one cannot really tell the heart what to want or what not to. Merlin likes Gwen a lot and knows they could be close friends if she does not mind befriending a servant, so he does not know who to be angry with or frustrated at. He wishes he had someone to talk to who could help him fix things for Arthur.

When Arthur and Merlin come out, Ewan and their escort of guards are already waiting. A part of him wishes they could leave the guards behind but he knows he needs to be responsible as the king and ensure his safety and that of his party. Reports of bandits are frequent and enemies of the kingdom are many. It would be folly to not take the necessary precautions. As he moseys towards Ewan, part of him feels guilty mainly for what he is feeling for his subordinate's intended. He has always liked Ewan, who is pleasant and brave and has turned out to be one of his most loyal knights. Arthur looks towards this pleasant young knight, his courage almost fails him and he finds himself thinking that he should find a way to get out of this engagement he had foolishly organised. Ewan does not deserve what he is doing. He is about to turn around and head back to his chambers when he sees Gwen coming down from the castle's entrance stairs. It strikes him that he had not yet seen Gwen in the bath of the sun because the vision paralyses him. The sun seems to have an amazing effect on her skin making her look almost ethereal but in a good way; the way he imagines an angel would look if he were to see one. The sun beam makes her skin look golden like the rays are being absorbed into her skin making it glow with colour_. Lord have mercy! _isall he can think his heart summersaulting like the Romany acrobats that he once saw performing at court when he was a child. All thought of abandonment flew out of his head as he watches Morgana, Gwen and their servants walking down to them. To him Gwen looks like she is gliding down, with her feet hardly touching the ground. She is a vision in mauve, a colour she seems to favour. Her gown is fastened in front with a row of tiny buttons. The front of the dress is embroidered and silver ornaments decorate the chest and sleeves. Her hair is held back with a crepine. Her maid servant is holding her surcoat that is a shade deeper than her gown. Arthur cannot find any single thing wrong with her appearance.

Two things bring him back from momentary paralysis; one: Merlin's, "Arthur, I think a fly just landed on your tongue," and Ewan rushing up to meet his intended halfway down the stairs. At that moment, the fact that Gwen is not free hits him with the force of a tornado he wonders that he does not stagger from the sheer force of it. He quickly turns to avoid seeing Ewan kiss Gwen's knuckles and Gwen smiling shyly down at him. He looks up to see Merlin watching him with a knowing look and is surprised when he does not try to mock or tease him as he usually does. It is a good thing as well because Arthur is not sure he would have taken it well. He feels like there is crack in his chest and too much air is swishing in. He momentarily thinks he would be lucky if he survives this outing in one piece. And whenever he feels out of his depth, poor Merlin normally becomes the punch bag to vent out his twisted emotions. Which he admits later, is really unfair.

"Merlin, you air head, I told you to saddle Excalibur for Lady Guinevere not for me. Ladies use the side saddle. Where are your brains today?"

"Well sire…."

"Pardon me, your Highness_." How did Gwen come close without me knowing_? "I am the one who told him I prefer to ride astride. I find the side saddle quite uncomfortable and unsafe, but if you prefer that I use it I will oblige." Apparently Gwen is a defender of the innocent too.

Arthur blushes so hard Merlin thinks he sees blood seeping through his skin. Arthur turns around to find Lady Guinevere looking at him with challenging eyes. And just when Merlin thinks it cannot get any worse, it does, because Arthur starts babbling so much that Merlin feels sorry for him. _Hopeless fool!_

"Lady Gwen, I mean Guinevere, I mean Lady Guinevere, pardon me. I didn't mean … that is of course you can ride any way you like, I don't care." _What! _"What I meant is I really don't mind…"It's the narrowing of Morgana's eyes to slits that makes him stop talking and snap his mouth shut. All the while his face has been growing redder with each passing moment_. _And worse still Morgana comes to stand behind Gwen._ Oh Lord, don't let Morgana embarrass me. I will do anything, _he prays silently but desperately.

Thankfully, no one makes the situation any worse. Gwen's attention is soon drawn to the lovely stallion she has been given leave to ride. Her excitement increases an octave when she realises that this horse is a Courser, the most sort after and expensive horse normally used for war. She did not notice the day before as she had got um-m distracted. In this mood, her feelings of ire caused by the unfair treatment of Merlin by the young king ebb.

"Thank you, sire for your generosity and the trust you have placed in me. It is indeed an honour to ride this priced horse." Arthur acknowledges with a slight bow of his head. He helps Morgana onto her horse but his eyes are on Gwen watching her betrothed touch where he wishes he could touch. He turns back to Morgana feeling sick.

Soon everyone is up on their horses. Their ride starts fast with Arthur leading them towards one of his favourite places in Camelot. Guinevere proves to be quite a skilled horseman and Arthur admires the way she handles Excalibur whom he knows sometimes has a mind of his own. She lets him gallop hard while still managing to control him expertly. As they come to their main destination Arthur slows down so the others can catch up and he sees Ewan ride up to Gwen and they maintain the same pace. Somehow it annoys him and he decides to stay ahead of the party, Merlin by his side. He decides not to look at Merlin, who for some unknown reason, seems to read him like a book.

Morgana urges her horse to move faster until he catches up with Arthur and Merlin. Arthur can feel her eyes on him and decides the best way to deal with Morgana is to ignore her and pretend not to notice otherwise she will pounce on you like jaguar. Unfortunately this time it does not work.

"I never thought I'd live to see this day." she smirks sounding cryptic.

"What are you on about, Morgana?"

"The day that Arthur the Great would rivet back to being 12."

"Morgana speak in plain language please, for the sake of us mere mortals." Arthur will soon wish he had not asked.

"Remember when you were twelve and infatuated with Sophia?" she reminds him waiting for him to catch on.

Arthur flushes realising that his worst nightmare has just come to pass. _Morgana knows!_ He could try denying it but knowing Morgana that would not discourage her. He casts a furtive eye at Gwen and Ewan, noting with relief that they seem to be deep in conversation.

"Yes Morgana, just shout it out for the world to hear."

"Well, anyone with eyes can't miss the way you keep ogling her let alone the way you seem to lose your ability to speak one line that makes sense when around her."

"Morgana!" Arthur says through clenched teeth. "Could we discuss it later in a more, um-m private place?"

"Okay but you do know of course that nothing good can ever come out of this?"

"Tell that to the clot pole." Merlin mumbles.

"Would you mind repeating what you just said, Merlin?" Arthur says forebodingly.

"I was just saying I agree with Morgana."

"Next time just shut up okay. "

_This outing is not going the way_ _I thought it would,_ Arthur thinks. Although he is not sure how he expected it to go exactly. Gwen and Ewan seem to be keeping to themselves, which irks him so much it has changed his mood completely. The two people he is stuck with seem to be hell bent on interrogating him. He wishes he could just turn around and abandon this whole ridiculous outing. And to think he had already sent a word to the court announcer that there would be an archery tournament. He just cannot understand himself sometimes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: yada yada yeah yeah!**

**Sorry for delays. Unfortunately, writing is having to compete with a lot more other things. **

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As the journey progresses it seems to Arthur that nothing will ever go right for him. That makes his mood sour, and anyone who hangs around Arthur knows that bad mood means a pouty and pratty Arthur and pratty Arthur usually does not make for good company. Unfortunately, poor Merlin ends up taking the brunt of it, something that the younger man does not find amusing in the least.

They reach their intended destination and Arthur helps Morgana off her horse. He hears Gwen take a sharp breathe as she takes in the beauty of the place. He had secretly hoped that she would like it. He does not know why this woman makes him want to share everything with her, even the things that he holds close to his heart.

From the time he was a child, he had found this place serene and he regarded it as his sanctuary when he needed to be alone, or at least as alone as a prince could get. The place has a small brook that is surrounded by tall trees and wild flowers of all types and colours. Anyone with a sense of beauty would find the place lovely. He had stumbled upon it one day when he was seven years old and he had been upset over the teasing that he was getting from other squires. He had run away from training and to the stables. He had jumped on the first horse that he came across and ridden into the forest at a neck breaking pace. He had been lucky that he had not fallen off his horse and broken his back or worse. He had only stopped when he had come upon this brook. Somehow, the natural beauty of the place had quickly drained his ire and he felt much calmer. He had eventually gone back to the castle where he found the whole castle in uproar. Search parties had already been sent out to look for the 'lost prince' and to say his father had been livid would be an understatement. He suspects that his father was tempted to put him in the stocks for a week, which in his opinion would have been better than the long lecture on the responsibilities of a prince that the king settled on instead. From that day, he had found time to sneak out with a few guards who were sworn to secrecy, and go to his favourite place. His father had never caught him since he always fed him a story that least raised suspicion. He had always wanted to share this place with someone he cared for. Unfortunately, he had not bargained for a whole party of people. He briefly finds himself regretting his decision to bring them here but when he hears Gwen's reaction, he changes his mind. It was worth it just to see her eyes light up and the smile that seems to make the day that much sunnier. Morgana's reaction surprises him though because he has never taken her as someone who wastes time on the basic things of life.

"Arthur, you sneaky sod, how did you find this place? And why have you never brought me here before?"

"Really, the king has never brought you here?" Gwen asks in amazement. "I would have thought you would be the first person he would bring here?" She finds it weird, but much as she is shocked there is also a feeling of elation that he has not shared this place with anyone until now. Why that should make her happy, she does not stop to examine.

"Why would Arthur share everything with me? I know we are close but he is entitled to a little privacy surely?"

Gwen finds that rather confusing. Surely if you were in love with someone you would want to share all of your life with them? Maybe their marriage was arranged. From the look of things they look like they have known each other almost as long as she has known Ewan. She recognises that kind of familiarity that comes with knowing someone for a long time. She wonders if Arthur and Morgana were childhood friends like she had been with Ewan. She would have liked to ask Morgana but thought it would be inappropriate for people who had only just met, even for someone not too worried about propriety like her new friend. Merlin would be best person to ask. She does not condone gossip with servants but she somehow feels that Merlin is much different from the other servants and from the snippets of conversation she had overheard during their ride, the king and his servant seem to have a rather unusual relationship, much like Relena and her. They do seem to have quite a bit in common. Much as she does not want to get ahead of herself, she finds herself hoping they would all be friends. She would definitely need friends around court and her hope of making any among the other members had been dashed after spending a few moments in their company. She has nothing in common with the other nobles and she knows the minute they find out she enjoys working with horses, they would think her beneath them.

The servants are busy laying down blankets for the picnic. In all honesty, Gwen is feeling famished after the bit of exercise and knows that the food will be quite succulent. Everyone knows that the castle has the best cooks. She moves towards the brook and picks up some stones and starts throwing them in the water creating some ripples.

"I thought I was the only lady who could do that." Gwen is startled and turns around quickly to find Morgana smiling at her.

"Well, I sort of grew up with boys and learnt most of the things they can do from Elyan, my brother and Ewan."

"You have a brother? Younger or older?"

"Younger by a year, but you would never know it if you were to see us together. We look like twins and most people who don't know us assume we are because I have always been smaller in stature and he is big for his age. We used to fight a lot when we were children and I had to learn a lot of skills just to be able to defend myself against him and his friends, much to mama's disapproval." Gwen muses.

"And Ewan? How did you come to know him if you do not mind my asking? You implied that you grew up with him as well. Were you betrothed to him as a child?"

"Oh no, not at all. Papa would not have heard of it. We did grow up together but it's because our estates border each other. Our parents were fast friends and we saw each other quite a lot. For a long time he was like a second brother to me. We were almost always together until Ewan left to start his training as a knight. I remember those days very vividly. We felt rather lost without him. He would come back once a year. The funny thing is that for a long time whenever we saw each other it would take us a few days and it would be like he never left. The advantage was that he always came back with new skills. He taught both Elyan and I how to fight with a sword and archery. I took to the long bow like a fish to water but sword fighting was a little difficult for me to master. The swords were either too heavy or too big for me. Papa would have had a lighter sword made for me, but Mama discouraged him. She wanted Papa to encourage me to acquire lady- like' skills like sewing and embroidery instead of unconventional hobbies for ladies." The look on Morgana's face tells Gwen they share a dislike of needlework.

"I'm sure she thought very few men would find a woman with fighting skills attractive, just like my mother. So did you stop?"

Morgana is fascinated with this small woman and big personality who seems to defy all convention. She suspects that if she had met her when they were younger, she would have enjoyed her life at court more. She had been lonely around the stodgy aptly behaved nobles that she had grown up with. The ladies had been more interested in gossip, fashion and getting married and the men drinking, gambling, fighting and more fighting. She could not fit in either group. She found the women pretentious and the men, well too sure of how women were supposed to behave. Arthur had been different. While he sometimes scolded her for being out of line, he was the one person who had allowed her a bit of room to do what she really liked doing, even teaching her how to fight with a sword. He had persuaded his father to let Morgana train with the knights sometimes, citing that it would be good for her to be able to protect herself. The other noblewomen had gossiped about it behind her back. Morgana had quickly mastered the sword as well as the ability to ignore the gossip mongers with great skill. But deep down she had longed for company, someone to talk about girly things with, like who was the most handsome knight or lord and just to be silly once in a while without being judged. Much as she realised the growing feelings that Arthur was developing for Lady Gwen and the dangers that they could present, a selfish part of her hoped that she would be around for a long time.

"Would I ever? I practised without my parents knowing. Mama died when I was nine winters past and I threw myself into archery. It was the one thing that took my mind off my missing Mama. One day Papa came upon me practising. He half-heartedly tried to discourage me, I suspect in honour of Mama, but eventually had the local artillator to make a shorter version of the long bow, the normal length is six feet, and a lighter cross bow for me. I practised every day for hours on end until I discovered my love for horses. Now I divide my time between the two."

"I never found archery of particular interest until now. You make it sound so fascinating. How good are you at it?"

"Well, I can release nine arrows in the time it takes you to say my name twelve times. The long bow does tire you out though even when you are experienced. But I prefer it to the crossbow. It's more challenging and you can only shoot two bolts from a crossbow in the same amount of time."

"That sounds very fast," Morgana says in amazement. "I tried it once and I got the feeling it is not exactly an easy weapon to use. Although I had the strength to use it, I wasn't very accurate when it came to target. I'm ashamed to say I quickly lost interest after that. Would you teach me one day if you so wish? Did you bring your own weapons?"

"Yes I did. I never go anywhere without them just in case we are attacked by bandits. Since I'm not so good with the sword, they are the only weapons I can use."

"Well I'm glad you brought them because you will need them," a voice they recognise as Arthur's man's servant's says. The two ladies who were so absorbed in their conversation did not realise that Merlin had joined them. They turn around and realise that the picnic has been set up but Arthur and Ewan are nowhere to be found.

Morgana is about to scold Merlin for eavesdropping when she looks at Gwen and sees her look of surprise on her face.

"Merlin what do you mean I will need? Has there been an attack or something?" Gwen says looking around.

"You don't know, do you? There is going to be an archery competition in five days. Arthur thought you might want to enter."

"Why would I want to and how does the king know about my archery skills?" Gwen asks colour rising on her cheeks.

Merlin has the grace to look abashed and rubs his cheeks that are equally turning pink. "I might have let on that you were a skilled archer when I was talking to him after we met on your way to the armoury."

"Merlin I don't understand why you were telling him at all. What makes you think that the king would be interested in my skills?"

"Oh he is interested all right," says Merlin with a smirk until he sees the warning look that Morgana gives him. "He just wanted to make you feel at home."

From the look that Gwen gives Morgana, she is still not quite convinced so Morgana has to come up with something quickly.

"Well, my brother is very proud of his castle and cannot bear to think that any visitor would find life here boring. Don't look too much into it." Crossing her fingers, Morgana hopes Gwen would find that desperate explanation adequate.

Gwen however, has lost interest in everything else that Morgana said except one word. "Brother? You are King Arthur's sister?" Of course! That would explain the playful affection between the two.

"Oh yes of sorts. He is actually my half- brother. We share the same father but different mothers."

"But how…? I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't ask."

"I don't mind. It's a public secret. My mother had an affair with the then Prince Uther while promised to a man called Gorlois. When she found out that she was pregnant, she never told Uther but had to tell Gorlois. He loved her too much to expose her and cause a scandal so he married her instead and acknowledged me as his child. No one ever questioned them. We only found out recently when Uther was on his deathbed. My mother, out of guilt, had written to him and told him the truth when I was five winters. When both my mother and Gorlois died, Uther took me in as his ward. Arthur and I grew up not knowing we were related until a few years ago. Hence, my being called Lady Morgana and not Princess. I really don't mind either way. It doesn't change who I am. I am sure everyone did what they did for a reason. I would not have liked my mother's memory sullied by scandal. She was a good woman who made a mistake that might have cost her everything. I was happy as a child and Gorlois loved me like I was his own child. I have lived in privilege, never lacking anything. I have a brother who loves me. What else could a girl ask for?"

"But the difference would be, you could have been queen of Camelot. Don't you feel um-m well, cheated?"

"To tell the truth Arthur is the best person for the job. He has the right disposition of a king. He is noble, kind and is fair. And I couldn't bear the stuffiness that comes with being queen."

"I'm sorry but when I saw how you were with the king, I assumed that you were… um-m his intended, "Gwen says with some discomfiture.

Morgana and Merlin burst out in laughter, not stopping until they both had tears streaming down their cheeks and were holding their sides as if in agony.

"Morg-a-a-n-a and Ar-th-ur? Oh Gwen you kill me." Merlin says doubling over as he continues to laugh.

"Even if … if we… were not related, Arthur and I would… would strangle each other on our wedding night. I can only tolerate Arthur in small doses like one of Gaius's vials of medicine." Morgana gushes trying to contain her mirth.

"And I you. You are like one of Gaius's sleeping drafts, looks nice but knocks you out every time. I take it you are talking about me. Whatever you are talking about better be good or I will put you and Merlin in the stocks for the rest of your lives."

"Ah-h I really would like to see you try. Anyway, you know what they say about eavesdroppers. They never hear anything good about themselves." Morgana says mischievously and she notices that Arthur looks genuinely concerned. She supposes he is worried that they might give a bad impression of him to Gwen. Morgana has never known Arthur to care about what people think of him. They have always bent over backwards to try and please him. She assumes it is because people never say bad things about their sovereigns in fear of it getting back to them. Especially in the days of Uther's reign, people watched carefully what they said. That Arthur was worrying about Gwen's impression of him tells her that Arthur is in deeper than he realises. _Oh bother!_

On the hand, Gwen is sincerely hoping neither Morgana nor Merlin would mention her little assumption to the king. She has made a fool of herself enough times and she does not want another embarrassing incident added on to her growing list. She lifts her eyes and finds the king studying her with keen interest. Being unaware of what is going on in his head she quickly averts her gaze. The blue eyes do not miss the pink hue that slowly creeps to her cheekbones.

The group and Ewan quickly move to the picnic site making Gwen happy for a chance to reunite with Ewan. Ewan does not make her too aware of herself like Arthur does. She is comfortable with him and Arthur makes her feel things she cannot understand. Arthur makes her wants to touch her hair and make sure it is not in disarray. Arthur makes her jittery and her heart beat too fast. Sometimes she does not know whether she wants to run to him or away from him. She is afraid that if she runs towards him, what she feels will consume her totally. She is not free to do that. She would not do that Ewan. She knows he is a good man who truly adores her. She had made a promise and she would not break it, especially for something she could not even define herself yet.

The party has a meal of several types of sandwiches, cheeses and different fruits and pomegranate to drink. After lunch they play a game of backgammon. First it is Arthur against Gwen.

"I must warn you, Gwen is quite an expert in this one as well. I have never beaten her." Ewan praised his betrothed.

"Well I guess she has never played against the reigning champion of Camelot." Morgana says smiling at her brother who flushes a bashful grin in return.

Gwen is the first to roll the die. It rolls five but so does Arthur's so they have to go again. Gwen eventually gets the greater number and hence plays first. Her two dice roll 6 and 4. She moves her checkers accordingly. Arthur rolls a 4 and a three and opts to move one checker 7 places. The rest of the party cheer the players good-naturedly. In the end Arthur is the first to bear off all his fifteen checkers and therefore wins the game. Everyone cheers for him and Morgana challenges Ewan to play. As they start playing, Gwen decides to wander off to admire the wild flowers that are surrounding where they are. Relena quietly follows her mistress.

Lush heads of bluebells cover most of the area as well as fragrant orchid, agrimony, long headed poppy and cherry blossom. The fusion of the different scents go straight to Gwen's head as she inhales. Gwen starts picking some blue bells which are her favourite. She wants some to take back to her room. Relena is close by offloading what she picks from time to time.

"You really love flowers, don't you?"

Hands on her heart, heat rising Gwen tries to get herself together. "You startled me, my Lord."

"I seem to do that a great deal, don't I? I am sorry. It must be the warrior in me. I am rather quiet when moving."

"No harm caused, although I warn you not to ever do that while I am armed with my bow and arrow. I don't want to be the woman who killed the king."

"That's a disturbing picture. I hear you are quite a skilled markswoman. You have a chance to prove it at the upcoming archery competition." Arthur challenges he, blue eyes seemingly burrowing into the heart of her eyes.

"Sire, I am not even sure that I want to enter. I mean back home people are used to my unconventional ways but here…"

"There is no need to fret Lady Guinevere. We actually have a few ladies at the court that are good archers. They do it for sport and I'm sure some of them will be entering the competition. Most ladies prefer the crossbow though. Do you like hunting?"

"No, unfortunately I do not have the stomach for it. I don't like killing defenceless things."

"Isn't that ironic if you are so skilled at archery?"

"When I started I did not realise what a dangerous weapon it is. I just enjoyed the challenge of aiming and hitting a target. I don't know what I was put in a place where I had to shoot something with my bow and arrow."

"Merlin will kiss the ground you walk on for that. He hates hunting with a passion but I must admit I enjoy it."

"Oh, I do not judge sire, please do not take offense at my statements. I know different people enjoy things and I don't expect everyone to dislike what I dislike." Gwen tries to extract the foot she has clearly stuck in the mouth.

"None taken. I have been hunting since I was a child. I suppose I enjoy the chase. My father thought it the best way to make a man out of me. I was a bit timid as a child."

"Really sire, I can't picture you scared of anything."

"I was scared of a lot of things, believe me. To avoid being teased I just learnt to hide it pretty well. You cannot have a knight who is too scared to dash into the middle of trouble and rescue the helpless maiden, can you?"

"Of course not! Where would the damsels in distress be? "

"Indeed. If you don't mind my asking my lady, haven't we gathered enough flowers for the whole castle by now?"

Gwen looks down at all the flowers that they have gathered between them and laughs. "I think we might have robbed the forest of all its stock of blueberry for the season.

"Never mind. We can take them all back with us. I'm sure we can find places they would be appreciated."

"Thank you, sire. They are so beautiful. It would be a shame to throw them away." Gwen beams at Arthur making his heart flip.

Relena picks up all the flowers that the king and her mistress have gathered. Merlin turns and sees her load and comes to help.

"Miracles never cease. Merlin, I have never seen you do anything voluntarily, without being threatened."

"Of course Arthur, it just depends on who needs help. Some people are just a pleasure to work for," Merlin says impishly, which he gets a slap upside his head for.

As they approach, Ewan jumps up and comes to greet his betrothed with a big smile.

"I have finally found someone I can beat," he proclaims as he takes Gwen's hands into his.

Merlin sees Arthur's face cloud over as he looks at the couple's joined hands. Merlin sighs. It looks like it's going to be another long night of polishing armour, boots and whatever moody Arthur can find for him. He snorts. And he had really been hoping for an early night.

**Please review. I love your comments. I makes it easier to know if I'm going in the right direction.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Sorry for the late update. Real life is kicking my behind big time. Just couldn't settle down enough to think clearly.**

**I own this story only, not the characters**

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She tells herself that she enters the tournament because she is curious to find out how she will fare against some of the most experienced and famed archers in the five kingdoms. She has only three full days to sharpen her skills. She had taken part in a lot of tourneys in the past, but for some reason this one is making her quite nervous. She had been entering them since she was a juvenile and as time went by it was as if it was expected of her to enter. But in Camelot she did not have to. She could have easily begged to be excused. However, anyone who knows her knows that she has never been one to back away from a challenge. It was not just on account of her pride but she found that it made her perform better when she pushed herself beyond what she had done before. She was not afraid to try new things or go into unchartered territory. That is what had got her this far. In this coming tournament, she would find out just how good she was at it.

She rises up quite early the morning from a fitful sleep which was full of rather disquieting dreams. She had woken up sweating from a rather colourful dream involving Arthur (she had taken to call him by his given name in her mind), wild flowers and soft blankets. Some of the dreams that she has been having lately would put a loose woman to shame. She wonders if she would ever be able to look at him without turning crimson. In some of dreams she had seen him in a rather ah-h unsettling state of undress. If he looked half as good without a shirt as he did in her dreams, let's just say for the sake of her coming nuptials it would be better if she were not ever see him without one. She recognised that her imagination was really working full time but reality was also fuelling the dreams. Maybe the best thing would be to try and avoid him, but that would be impossible seeing as she is a subject of his kingdom and she is living in his castle. If it had been anyone else she would have tried to ignore him if only for the fact that it would lessen the chances of her making a complete and utter monkey of herself all over again. The man posed danger to her sanity. She briefly wonders why he is still unattached. Rumour had it that girls fell like flies around him. She wondered what kind of woman would degrade herself that much. She would never allow herself to be like those girls whose sole mission was to bat their eye lashes at every eligible male in close proximity no matter how good looking. She would rather die first. Her interest in horses and archery had given her such purpose up to this point that she had not had time to be fantasizing about men like most girls of the ton. That she now is betrothed is not certainly from any effort on her part. Of course if any of the men she grew up with were like Arthur….

She would have liked to have gone riding, but she knows that it would be dangerous to go out on her own. She would not dream of dragging Relena out to do what she did not enjoy. It is times like these that she misses her home. The stable hands at her estate had developed a routine that included an early morning ride every day. Her father had cleared a space to train her horses which was near the stables. So she did not need an escort every time she went riding. Unfortunately, she could not go out and start her target practise until there was enough light. She decided to write a letter to her aunt updating her on the happenings at the castle. Her aunt would be worried about how she was faring as she knew very well that her niece found the majority of the nobles not to her liking. She was wise enough to make the letter as detailed as possible while leaving out some minutiae that she knew would cause her aunt to fret. She also wrote a shorter missive to her brother Elyan. She wonders sometimes what would have happened if Elyan had decided to follow in the footsteps of their father and become a knight instead of spending these past winters wondering around doing God knows what.

After their mother died, Elyan being the one closest to their mother, had not coped well. The first few years after her death, he began to show signs of restlessness. He had eventually gone away to 'seek his fortune' much to their father's despair, and had only returned when word had reached him of their father's illness. Her heart broke when she saw how their father's eyes lit up when he saw Elyan. They had both been there when their father expressed his wish for her to marry Ewan. He knew that she had had a soft spot for him when they were younger but as they grew up, those feelings did not grow as well. She had made her promise to her father. She could not have denied him his last wish. She liked Ewan enough and she knew she was fortunate that her father had allowed her freedom all these years. Besides, Ewan was young and not bad looking. He treated her well and with respect. She understood that her father's wish was stemming from his concern for her now that he knew that he was not going to be around to look after her. As far as he was concerned Elyan could not be trusted with that task. She was a little bit hurt when she found out that her father had already arranged this with his friend, Ewan's father, before talking to her. She and her father had been very close and her father had always confided in her about all sorts of things. Although she could understand why he did not consult her, she felt disappointed that her father had felt cornered into making a decision he knew she would not have agreed to. However, she could take comfort in the fact that her father seemed to find peace in the arrangement he had made for his daughter. Before now she really had not had much reason to bemoan her lack of free- will when it came to the choice of husband. She was glad though that Elyan had been there when their father drew his last breath.

So Gwen knows that despite her misgivings lately she has to keep her promise to her father. Her parents had taught her that a person was nothing without integrity. Her father in particular had emphasized the need for a person to be one with the words that pass out of their mouth. She had made that principle hers. She always prided in her veracity but over the few sunrises she has been in Camelot, she has begun to question a few things about herself and she knows the reason for that is a certain blue eyed blonde. The man has enough charisma to charm the birds out of their nest or a lion out of a carcass. Much as she has been trying, she is finding that her feelings are increasingly conflicted. She knows she can never go back on her promise but at the same time, her heart wants to know what it's like to be with someone that makes your heart pound whenever he is around; makes your mouth dry out and makes your skin tingle with anticipation of their fingers brushing against you. She sighs pensively. She will probably never get to experience that even though it seems the possibility is within her arms reach. There is a great gulf that is separating her from what she desires.

By the time Gwen finishes writing and sealing the correspondences, the sun's rays are stretching their tentacles through the drapes covering her chamber windows. Relena helps her to bathe and dress for practise. She wears a wide hood over her gown. She puts a leather strapping on the right shoulder to protect her from the effects of the bowstring when it is drawn. Another is strapped on the inside of the sleeve of her bow arm to protect it from being hit by the string. Another leather strap protects her chest. Leather gloves complete her attire. Relena pins her hair up into a chignon and holds it in a crepine as her hair often had a mind of its own and gets in the way. Clad in a pair of leather boots, Relena collects her equipment and they make their way to the training field. Gwen had asked Merlin to provide and set up a target for her every morning so that she could practise. After the way it had been noised abroad about her skills, she does not wish to perform below the expected standard.

She is glad to find the archery field is unoccupied because she is used to practising on her own. However, she can see that the knights are already practising as the fields are close to where she is. She just happens to notice that Arthur is amongst them seemingly going through drills with them. She knows that he likes to handle the training of his own men, something she greatly admires. In her opinion someone in authority should be willing to do what he or she asks their subordinates to do. Ewan had told her of how King Arthur was just as rigorous on himself in training as he was with his men. She knows he deserves to be famed as a great warrior and he probably owes that to his arduous training and unwavering dedication. Her heart flutters again as she thinks of the man who never seems to be too far from her mind. She is knows that the feelings that even the very thought of him elicit within her are not deemed proper for a lady of good breeding, let alone one that is promised to another man, but her body seems to have no desire to cooperate with what her head tells it. She finds herself thinking of him at very peculiar times, like when she is sleeping and the silk sheets touch her skin and she imagines his blue eyes scorching her skin before his beautiful fingers follow suit. She once read one of those books that her peers circulate amongst themselves; books that ladies of her station were not allowed to even set their eyes on. Those books contained stories of love and passion. They were frowned upon by society as a bad influence on properly brought up young ladies. However, the secret that was kept from many matrons, was that these books always found their way around the younger ladies of the ton. Gifted with a vivid imagination, the things she had read had made her blush crimson, feeling all flustered and warm everywhere. She had always wondered if in reality people ever experienced such intense feelings as were described in those books. She certainly had never felt anything like that when Ewan was close to her or touched her. Arthur does not have to touch her for her to feel hot all over. Just his eyes on her make her feel like her skin is on fire and as if her heart was trying to burst out. She is not sure whether it is a blessing or a curse. She shakes her head in an attempt to calm herself. Her chest is already heaving, something she finds disturbing and a little shameful. Surely ladies of noble birth are not supposed to think such thought or behave thus. Her aunt told her one day that only those of low birth allowed themselves such wanton thoughts. The nobility were too civilised to indulge in such unbecoming behaviour. She said that love was not as important as respect. In Gwen's opinion of the two sides, the lowly born seem to have much happier marriages as they were not forced to marry strangers who were deemed suitable because they had position and wealth. Very few nobles ever married for love. Most had their spouses chosen for them by parents or guardians. She had always hoped she would be one of the lucky few. But now…. Well no use crying over spilt milk. She uses sheer will power to turn her thoughts back to the reason she is outdoors.

She is happy that Merlin has already set up the target for her. The field is already marked. She knows that in these tourneys, she will have to shoot from three distances. So she starts with the one closest to the target. Relena stands at a safe distance having found out first hand when they were younger how a target can be easily missed and an arrow can end up too close for comfort. Back home, Gwen would have had another servant with her to hold her quiver for her while she practises but she does not have anyone to do so here. So she has her quiver strapped to her back. Gwen readies her bow and loads her arrow, nocks it, holding the bowstring with her fingers and raises the bow and turn toward the target. She draws; her string hand drawn towards her face on her chin as she points towards the target. When she feels that the string is fully drawn and taut she releases the arrow by relaxing the fingers of her drawing hand. Her first few shots are good but not as accurate as she would like them to be. She shoots several arrows that land slightly outside of the bull's eye. She can tell from the recoil of her body that her form is not quite right. She keeps shooting slightly changing her stance and she is getting a bit frustrated when she realises that her accuracy is not improving.

She keeps at her practise until it is mid- morning. She is loading another arrow when she feels a prickling sensation at the back of her neck. She immediately knows that someone is watching her and she turns to see Arthur and Merlin standing at a distance with their attention on her. Her eyes move unconsciously to Arthur. _God help me, but this man is gorgeous_! Every day she saw him, he looks even better. She feels suddenly like her legs have turned into jelly. _And he is watching me!_ She finds it nonplussing. Suddenly, the thoughts of her dreams assault her and she feels colour creeping to her face. Merlin enthusiastically lifts up his hand in greeting and Gwen smiles at him in return and she supposes they take that as encouragement and start walking towards her. Gwen is suddenly so nervous she prays she will not unleash an arrow on herself. Now that would really be embarrassing. She cusses her misbehaving nerves.

"Lady Guinevere," the king says in greeting. _Darn it but no man has the right to be so good looking_. Her insides twist into tight knots. _Can he stop smiling at me before I break into puddles of_ _liquid flesh?_

"My lord," Gwen returns nattily and curtseys slightly, then turns towards Merlin, her smile widening. "Merlin I'm grateful to you for setting this up for me."

"No need to mention it. It was no problem at all. Anytime you need help please let me know". Merlin allows her the full impact of his goofy smile. His statement causes Arthur's jaw to drop and he scowls at him flabbergasted. Merlin hardly ever does anything for him willingly. Over the years, he has had to threaten him, blackmail or trick him into doing what he is supposed to do. Now here he is busy flushing Gwen his most charming smile and insinuating that he finds Gwen's requests a joy to accomplish_. Ha-a! _When he glances at Merlin he realises the servant is prodding him as usual_. Well he won't have the pleasure of my reaction._

Gwen notices that a couple of the court ladies are walking towards the training field when they notice Arthur. They begin to giggle as they point 'discretely' towards him. Gwen frowns in displeasure. Both Merlin and Arthur turn towards the direction Gwen has been glaring. Merlin smirks and Arthur turns slightly red.

"Looks like your cheering squad has arrived sire. I wonder what held them up today?" Merlin says, knowing very well how much it would annoy Arthur whom he knows is using all his charm on Gwen. "Shall I direct them towards you?"

If looks could kill, Merlin would have been left all bone and no flesh. Merlin decides he likes living too much and opts to stop goading the king.

Arthur turns back to Gwen. "Do not let us disturb you my lady."

Gwen wonders if she will be able to hold it together with _him _watching. She wishes she was not so attuned to his presence. _Oh bother!_

She turns back and is about resume with her practise when something catches her eye and she turns back to see Sir Leon hurrying towards them, cape flying behind him. Both Arthur and Merlin turn when they see that her attention is reverted again to something behind them.

"Sir Leon?" Arthur says sounding disturbed at the urgency he senses in the normally calm knight.

"Sire, a messenger this minute arrives with news of an attack on one of the villages on the border with Essetir." Gwen gasps heart in her throat. All eyes draw towards her. She had heard rumours of attacks on villages across the border but that has not happened on their side in a very long time. Arthur turns to Gwen, concern written on his face. Then he turns back to Sir Leon.

"Announce a council meeting as soon as possible. I will be along in a moment." Arthur instructs Leon, urgency in his voice.

"Of course, Sire."

"Merlin, tell Sir Gwaine to let the knights- of- the- round- table know about the council meeting. We will have a meeting with the rest of the knights after the council meeting."

"Yes, Sire".

After both Merlin and Leon have left, Arthur turns to Gwen.

"Lady Guinevere, I know that your estate is on the border with Essetir and you must be worried about how your people are faring. I promise you I will do all I can to protect your estate and the people that you are responsible for."

"Thank you, sire. My aunt and my brother …."

"I promise to send word as soon as I know something."

"I wish I could go with you…" Gwen realises she probably sounds like a clingy wife but she is too worried to care. She needs to know whether her estate and its people are safe.

"I don't think that would be a good idea since we do not know the situation on the ground. It would be of great comfort to me to know you were safe here."

Gwen wonders briefly what the last statement meant but supposes that it is the responsibility of any king to ensure the safety of his subject which is what Arthur probably meant. She signals Relena to come and collect her weaponry.

"Can I kindly ask that you grant me a favour Sire?"

"Of course, you need only ask Lady Guinevere."

"Thank you, sire. May you please send word as soon as you find out what is going on?"

"I promise. I will send a messenger as soon as we assess the situation. I will pass through to check on your estate as well. And since we will be going there if you would like me to deliver a missive to your relations, I will gladly do so."

To say Gwen is shocked would be to put it mildly. Good breeding stopped her from gaping like a fish. Whoever heard of a king offering to be used as a messenger? She hesitates, not too sure she should take the king at his word. Arthur notices her hesitation and seeks to reassure her. He moves forward intending to squeeze her shoulder but lets his hand drop back to his side when he realises how inappropriate that would seem. _Darn society delicacies!_

"Lady Guinevere it will be no bother at all. Just give them to Merlin before our departure tomorrow. We will probably leave at dawn. I will have more solid details after the council meeting."

"Thank you once again my lord, for everything." Gwen feels better and she gives the king her brightest smile. Arthur's eyes almost pop out of their sockets at the beauty of the smile and subconsciously drop to her lips, knots forming in his belly when she bites her bottom lip slightly, a move he finds too erotic for words. He swallows, hard. He knows he should be going to attend to council matters but somehow he is finding it difficult to move away.

She gives him a deep curtsy and Arthur feels like he has been dismissed, something he finds rather annoying. He wishes she would not bow to him. When she does it feels like a thick wall has been built between them and he does not like it. He thinks that the way he is feeling, a more veritable valediction would be if he were to just grab her and kiss the living daylights out of her. It is at moments like these, moments where he cannot just throw caution to the wind and do what he desires the most that he feels the weight of his station and crown weighing down heavily on him.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I am sure by now we know who owns what

**A/N : Thank you for the support. You rock!**

**As per some requests I have tried to update earlier than last time. Hope you enjoy this. Let me know**

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It had been two days since the knights had left. Ewan had come to her chambers to say his goodbyes as he was one of the knights going with the king to investigate the attacks on the villages. He told her that the king had given him permission to stay behind since Gwen was at court because of him. Ethan had insisted on going since he knew the people better than any of the knights and would take the time to see if his estates were faring well. Funny enough, she found she rather missed him. She and Ewan had always found it easy to converse. Maybe it was the fact that they knew each other far too long for them to be awkward around each other. He had suggested that when he comes back from the mission they should start preparing for their hand-fasting ceremony. Gwen had been saved from answering by Merlin who had come to collect the letters to her relations. If Ethan was surprised that she had asked Merlin and not him to deliver them, he did not show it. The subject of the nuptials had not been revisited but it left Gwen uneasy as she realised that there is no way she is going to avoid the issue forever. She could not expect Ewan to patiently wait forever either.

It is a good thing that Lady Morgana was nice to her otherwise she would have found her stay after the knights had left intolerable. It made her realise that most people that she had made the effort to befriend over the past weeks were gone. She and Morgana had had dinner together for the two nights past and she had intended to teach her archery. She found Morgana a lot of fun to be around even though a tad unconventional. Oh, who was she fooling, Morgana was worse than her and it was nice not to be the only toad in a pond full of fish. They were kindred spirits.

Due to the absence of the king and other knights, the tournament had been postponed. A part of her is glad for the reprieve but she also knows that it is only temporary. She is glad for the chance to practise for longer but even that is proving to be difficult. Unfortunately, it seems like the weather is mourning the absence of the knights, since the skies had decided to turn a dull grey and it had started drizzling that morning. It looks like there would be no end to the bad weather. That makes it impossible for her to practise so she finds herself rather at a loose end. She decides to paint, something that she does occasionally when she is bored. She prefers painting outdoors, but since it has been raining without ceasing, there was no way she could go outside. Most of her paintings were of scenery. Given that she is in a castle, the closest she can see of the surrounding mountains is through her window. _Ah well, beggars could not be choosers._ She misses Merlin at this point because she has found that one of his many talents is his knowledge of the best places around the castle. She knows that if Merlin had been around he would have found something or some interesting place to relieve her boredom.

There is a rather urgent sounding knock on her door. Relena goes to answer and a messenger is by the door.

"Pardon me Miss, but I have been asked to deliver these letters to Lady Guinevere by His Royal Highness King Arthur."

Relena gets permission from her mistress and lets the boy who could not have been more than ten and five to come into her chambers.

He bows before addressing Gwen.

"My lady, His Highness the king has sent these letters to you. He has asked that I should wait for your responses, if you so wish to respond."

"That is so kind of him. Thank you…?"

"Thomas, at your service, my Lady."

"Thomas, you have my father's name. That is wonderful. Thomas, would you give me a moment to read and respond to these correspondences?"

"The king instructed me to do as you command, my lady."

Gwen is so shocked her mouth is agape for a brief moment. "That is very kind of the king. I will certainly write him a note to express my gratitude. If you could come back later before sunset to pick up my letters I would very grateful Thomas."

"I certainly will my Lady." He bows and turns to leave.

"Ah Thomas, how was everyone when you left?"

"Sir Ewan is doing very well, my Lady," he says a knowing expression on his face, assuming that Gwen was asking about her affianced.

It occurs to Gwen in that moment that although she had been pleased to hear about Ewan, she had been hoping that Thomas would let slip news of the rest of the patrol party as well. Now how does she ask without rousing any suspicion?

"I am ever so pleased to hear that. And how is Merlin faring?"

"Merlin is really well, my Lady. I suspect that he misses home though. He does not seem to enjoy the rough life."

"Well I know very few people that would enjoy that kind of life and being away from home. I know I would rather be in familiar surroundings. I certainly miss my home very much." Gwen feels melancholic. She notices that she is making Thomas uncomfortable.

"Thank you, Thomas. You can come for the letters before sunset," Gwen says dismissing Thomas.

Thomas bows and leaves.

Gwen goes and sits down and examines the four letters she has received. Two of them bear her family seal so she knows that they are from her aunt and brother. She opens the one from aunt first which she knows from experience will be short and to the point, her aunt never having been one to waste words. She talks about the estate and how Elyan has been working so hard to keep things running. She vaguely mentions about the attacks in the villages and the number of people that had been affected. She briefly mentions how flattered she was that the king himself had seen it fit to come and personally inspect the damage to the villagers' homes due the attacks and how he had promised that he would ensure the safety of the estate. Gwen immediately writes back thanking her for keeping her abreast with the undertakings around the estate. The next letter she reads is Elyan's. She is surprised that all he talks about is the king's visit and the way the knights have been meticulously scouring the countryside looking for the attackers. From the letter, it sounds as if he actually envies them, which comes as a surprise to her as he never seemed interested in becoming a knight before. There was more gushing about the king and how kind and noble he is and very little else. Apparently the king had even commented on his skills with the sword and Gwen does not want to imagine under what circumstances the king had found about Elyan's skills.

She opens Ewan's letter next. He states that although two villages had been attacked, only one life had been lost. A man called Ambrose had been killed trying to defend his family. Gwen knew the man as he had been the artillator in that particular village. He had made Gwen's first bow and arrows for her. Gwen was sad for him and the family he had left behind and made a note to visit the family when she got back. Apparently the bandits burned the villagers' food supply and their crops. The king had assured the villagers that he would do all that he could to make sure that food provisions were acquired for them and to make their villages more secure. He also reiterated how much he would like for them to start planning their nuptials as soon as he comes back. He had requested that he stay on for a few more days when the knights were coming back. He was going to visit with his family and to discuss with his parents so that they could start planning as well.

Gwen receives that particular piece of news with mixed feelings. Part of her knows that this day was going to come anyway and she should have expected it; but what is unexpected is the feeling of dread. She is wondering how she would be able to promise a lifetime with Ewan when she feels so strongly for Arthur. She knows in her heart if she does marry Ewan she would always wonder about what she could have had with Arthur. However, she knows that much as she would like to there is no way she can cry off. Ewan had done nothing deserving of such treatment and such behaviour would bring shame upon her family. She is glad to have a few days to think on it while he is away. She wishes she had someone to talk it over with. Unfortunately, because of the people involved she has to be careful whom she confides in. She puts Ewan's letter away with a sigh, finding no incentive or appropriate words to reply. How would she be able to express an enthusiasm that she was far from feeling? She had never been eager for or good at deception. Her father had always caught her out whenever she was lying. How was she going to pull this one off?

Finding no answer for her troubles, she breaks the seal on the letter from Arthur and starts reading:

My Lady Guinevere

I sincerely hope that this letter finds you in the best of health and spirit. As promised I have written to give you news on the state of affairs as we found them. I am sure you are anxious to know what has become of your estate and the people that we are both responsible for. Two villages were attacked by what we thought were bandits but our investigations have since unveiled that the attacks were not random at all. The way of bandits is usually the same. They are more concerned with plundering whatever they can find of value. However, the attacks in question looked well planned and they took nothing away with them. Instead, they destroyed grain and crops. No people were taken captive. This has indeed left us quite puzzled and we have decided to investigate further. We suspect that a renegade group led by a warlord named Helios could be the malefactor. I will know in a few days whether my suspicions are correct or not.

As you have probably received letters from your relations, you must, by now know that your family estates are still intact. The attacks have only affected the surrounding villages. We are anxious to rectify this so that our people may live peacefully without fear.

I have had the privilege of meeting your brother. I find him an impressive young man who is quite skilled with the sword. I wonder why he never came to train as a knight. The kingdom needs men like him. I hope by the end of this mission he would have realised how much of a contribution he can make to the kingdom as a knight.

My lady, it is my hope that you are finding your stay at court enjoyable. It is a shame that we had to leave as I, for one, was looking forward to the tourney having heard so much of your skills. I truthfully hope that we will be back soon. Much as I have been away on such missions many, many times before, I am finding that I miss being there much more this time than I normally do. I wonder why?

I know you are probably missing your home as well. I hope my sister is making herself useful by keeping you company. I know she, like many others at court, has taken a liking to you. Please be free to ask anything of her if you find yourself in need.

I also remember how much you like talking to horses. Be free to talk to mine in the royal stable anytime you so wish. As long as you do not say anything bad about their master, they will take to you well. They are very loyal that way. Please feel free to ride any of the horses.

Merlin sends his greetings and wishes me to tell you that he misses you. I will write again if you so wish as soon as I have more news. Till then please take care. You are greatly missed.

I remain yours

Arthur

Gwen reads the letter twice before putting it down, a small smile on her lips. There is nothing in the words of the letter that should have caused such a reaction but to Gwen there is something about the tone of the letter that makes her feel…..cherished. She likes that feeling. It is a wonder that she recognises that feeling as she has never felt it before. She had noticed men looking at her with all sorts of expressions but never before had words conveyed such feelings of esteem and affection without really saying it openly. Never has she dreamed that words could provoke such warm feelings, they make her wish that she could have been present when they were written so that she could see the expression in his eyes as he put his thoughts on the parchment . She looks wistfully at the final words of the letter and half- heartedly wishes that Arthur is really hers. Half- heartedly because as much as she now knows that she is developing feelings beyond friendship for Arthur, she is always conscious that she should not be because she is not free to do so. The problem is, she is at a loss on how she can resolve the conflict or stop herself from falling.

There is another knock on the door and it takes her out of the reverie. Relena who has been watching her unsuspecting mistress and has noted all the emotions that are clearly running across her sweet face, crosses the suite to open the door. She finds the Lady Morgana looking all regal and beautifully clad in a green sequined gown standing outside.

"My Lady," Relena acknowledges the noblewoman with a curtsy.

"Relena, is it? Is your mistress in?"

Relena looks back to her mistress who nods her consent and steps aside to let the noblewoman into her mistress's chambers.

Gwen gets up and curtsies to her superior.

"Come on Gwen, we will have none of that between us. We are friends are we not?" She continues without waiting for a reply, an impish glint in her eyes. "Besides we both know how all this formality bores us to death."

Gwen laughs, "Indeed. I have to be careful you see. My aunt is always warning me that my disregard for propriety will get me in trouble one day."

"Well, in that case, let's get into trouble together then. It's been far too long since the other noblewomen have given me their disapproving frowns."

"Morgana, it has not been a week since you made fun of Lady Sibil's new hair-do."

"You see! Like I said, it's been far too long." They both dissolve into fits of giggles. Relena smiles at them like an indulgent mother. She is glad that her mistress seems to be getting on well with Lady Morgana. She had never told her but there were times when she had wished her mistress was more like the other noblewomen because she would have had more friends in her own class. However, she knows that she could not have wished for a better mistress. Gwen is kind and considerate unlike some ladies that her friends serve. Seeing her now bond with this lady, who is a peer gladdens her heart to no end. She hopes Gwen will be able to confide in Morgana what has been troubling her. She has an inkling what it is, but she knows Gwen would not even think of discussing it with her especially since it involves someone who is to be her husband. She decides to give them space.

"My lady, I am just taking these garments to the laundry."

"Very well Relena. You can take a few moments to rest afterwards. You can come later to help me prepare for dinner."

"Thank you, my lady" She curtsies and leaves.

"So what were you doing before I got here." Mogana enquires, looking around the chambers.

Gwen blushes a little remembering exactly what she had been doing and who she had been fantasising about.

"Ah, I see that there is need for us to sit and talk about whatever is making you blush like a school girl."

"It's nothing, honestly. I was just replying some letters that came today…"

"Oh so received letters too? Let me see, so which one makes you blush so prettily; the one from Ewan?" She looks at Gwen closely. "I guess not. So it can only be the one from Arthur."

Gwen hates herself for being so transparent but other than draining blood out of her cheeks, she realises there is no way she could have disguised her reaction. She is clearly out of control. She wonders briefly if she should even be having this conversation with the sister of the man she is lusting after. Morgana is looking at her like she is a creature from another world noting every emotion that crosses her face. Gwen feels like she is under a magnifying glass.

"Morgana…"

"Oh don't worry. I know how you two feel about each other. Anyone who spends a few moments with you can tell."

Colour drains from Gwen's face. _Oh no! She has turned into an immoral woman!_

"I won't tell, I promise, although I think you two need to learn to be a bit more discreet. All that eyeing each other will get you noticed. Which makes me wonder whether your betrothed is blind or in denial. But anyway….Mind you, I don't mind a bit of a scandal myself. But in this case, I really care about you both. I know I have not known you for long but I think you and I have a connection. I should know because I have not connected with anyone in a long time. The point is, I really don't want you embroiled in a scandal. This monarch has had enough of those."

Gwen knows she is referring to her parents. She is glad that she has found someone to talk to, no matter how inappropriate it would seem to other people. She needs advice because she has gone over her dilemma so many times and keeps on coming back to the same place she started from, no resolve in sight. Maybe another's objective mind could help sort out her jumbled up feelings.

"I like Ewan, Morgana. I have known him most of my life and he is a good person."

"Gwen, if you don't mind my asking; why did you get betrothed to him in the first place? It sound s to me like you treat him more like a brother than a lover." Morgana had been afraid just for a moment that Gwen might be toying with her brother's feelings but looking at her now, she can tell that her friend is genuinely troubled.

Gwen sighs and invites her friend to sit down. She relates the story of her betrothal. When she finishes, Morgana feels for her new friend. She can see why Gwen is so conflicted. Ewan is a valued friend, and Arthur is fast becoming the object of her affection. Morgana can tell, whether she admits or not, that Gwen is falling in love with Arthur. Morgana is older and more experienced so she knows a bit more about matters of the heart than Gwen. They have led equally sheltered lives but, since her father died, she has had more freedom than most. Gwen has that dreamy look in her eyes whenever she talks about Arthur that girls always get when they are falling in love. She does not envy her predicament. She would be one to say society be damned but she knows that people would forgive her much easier than they would someone Like Gwen because of their positions. Nobles were always at pains to get the king's favour even if it meant accepting a wayward sister. Gwen on the other hand was not that powerful. The fact that her object of desire was the king would make things even worse. The queen was expected to be above reproach. Begging off her betrothal to Ewan for the sake of the king would entangle them in a scandal that would endanger the stability of the monarch.

"Gwen, you know that I would be the first person to tell you not to worry about what people think. But if you and Arthur were to get together you would be queen. A queen needs to be respected and trusted. A scandal is not the best way to ascend to the throne. Of course later on people might see the real you. That you are lovely, kind and one of the genuinely good people that I have met in a while. Would you be willing to go through all that? At the same time, I believe in love. And I know true love is hard to come by. If you marry Ewan you could be giving up the love of your life. Are you willing to sacrifice it for a lifetime of waking up with someone who is like a brother? Do you think you will be happy knowing you could have had love but you had settled for far less? And Ewan? Do you think he will be happy knowing that every time you look at him you are wishing he was someone else. That is the worse punishment you can ever inflict on a person. To make them feel that they are never enough whatever they do. Since you genuinely care for Ewan, please consider that."

Gwen is crying by the time Morgana finishes talking.

"Morgana, I am a horrible person. How could I do this to two people that I care about? You don't know how many times I tell myself to stop thinking about Arthur; to let him go and stop dreaming about him. I have failed. I am not strong enough. And I'm not as selfless as you think. Sometimes I think I have succeeded and then I see him and my heart leaps. He makes me weak at the knees. I end up back where I would have started from. I don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do."

"My sweet, I cannot tell you what to do. I can only advise you. You have to make the decision."

"But whatever I choose, someone I care about is going to get hurt. How do I choose who gets hurt? Why do I have to choose? How did I get ensnared in this?"

"Gwen, listen. Not all is lost. I know my brother cares a lot for you. He would kill me if he found out I had told you by the way. Examine your feelings for him and if you care the same way about him, I suggest you have a talk with Ewan. He is not a cruel person from what I have seen. He looks like he cares for you. I'm sure he wants the best for you. You can find a way to resolve this matter I'm sure."

Gwen hangs on to these words of hope like a life line.

"You think so Morgana?"

"I know you will Gwen. You deserve happiness. But whatever you do don't feel like you have to sacrifice yourself. Self -inflicted martyrdom sometimes does not have the desired effect. When you make the final decision promise me you will consider one other person besides Arthur and Ewan?"

"Who is that?"

"You. Remember that you are a good person and you have to be happy with your decision. Don't let anyone push you into anything you don't want. You will have to live with that decision for the rest of your life. What do you want the rest of your life to be like? One that is deliriously happy or one full of regrets?"

Gwen looks thoughtful for a moment. Then suddenly Morgana jumps off into another direction.

"Alright enough of this angst stuff. What say you to dinner in my chambers tonight? We can take a walk in the gardens afterwards. I know you like wild flowers but the royal gardens might just change your mind."

Gwen smiles shyly and nods at her friend. She cannot believe she has just had that conversation with her.

"And tomorrow if the weather is good, you can show off to me why people rave about your skills in archery. We can even go riding later in the day if you are up for it."

"So you think keeping me busy is the best answer to my problems I see."

"Well it has never failed to work with my brother. "

They smile affectionately at each other and Morgana curtsies deeply and smiles mockingly at Gwen.

"Your Majesty," she says before departing quickly leaving Gwen glued to the floor in shock.

After a moment she sits down again to write her replies her mind feeling a bit clearer.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to someone else who is not me.**

**Warning: There is a bit of violence in this chapter**

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Arthur is in a very bad mood and no amount of banter with Merlin is able to lift him from the dark cloud he can feel descending upon him. The mission that he was supposed to have taken three days in his opinion is taking much longer. Normally, he really does not mind these missions. For some reason that he pretends not to fathom, he is just impatient to find the culprits causing his people distress so that he can go back to Camelot. If he were to be honest with himself, there were certain people that he was missing terribly. Stubborn as he is of course, he would argue that it is because of the miserable weather that seems to have been persistent for the previous three days. Merlin of course, knows better as he has witnessed how the mood lifts whenever the messenger arrives with another letter from the citadel.

It turns out from further investigations that, several villages had been attacked in exactly the same way in the past two months. Somehow the reports had never reached Arthur at court. When he leant this he was extremely angry and he promised himself that he would investigate this tardiness on the part of the patrol in this area. In Camelot he had council meetings where such reports were supposed to be submitted. He would find out soon enough why this report never reached him.

The previous week, while there were at the border, they had received reports of another attack on a different village. The attacks were made in pretty much the same way. Destruction of property, food supplies and crops were common in all the reported cases. They were similar in every way leading Arthur to believe that it is the same group that is responsible or the groups are related in some way. He just cannot comprehend the reason for the attacks since the attackers never seem to take anything from the villagers. While at first it had been suspected that the attacks were made by bandits, the longer the knights stayed there, the more it seems like the attacks are deliberate and not as random as previously thought. From the information gathered so far, it seems like the attacks were happening more frequently than they used to. Arthur knows that it is an indication that the attackers are gaining confidence. He knows that with that would come a few mistakes. He is counting on them leaving behind something that would give them a clue as to who the attackers are and where they can be found. Just under an hour ago, another attack had occurred. It had been reported that during the attack, one of the 'bandits' had been injured badly. Arthur is in a hurry to get to the village so that they could get on the culprits' trail before it grows cold.

What the knights see as they reach the village would have either made any person with a heart either cry or boil with anger as it's truly heart-breaking. Several huts have been burnt and although the villagers seem to have managed to put most of the fire, smoke is smouldering from several structures. Villagers are outside either weeping or putting out fires. Near one of the burnt huts, two children sit clutching each other crying over their unconscious woman while a neighbour is tending to what looks like a deep gush on her forehead. Merlin immediately gets off his horse to see if he can put his knowledge of medicines to good use. The king also disembarks and starts barking orders to the rest of his knights.

"Ewan find me the village elder."

"Lancelot go round the village, check if there are any other people that were injured and assess the damage on all the homes.

"Gwaine and Galahad, gather as much information on the attackers as you can, what there were wearing, their manner of speaking, and anything that might lead us closer to finding them."

"Percival check if this attack has any similarities with the attacks on the other villages.

"Tor check on their supplies of food and their fields. I want to know if aid will be needed for this village too."

"Leon see if the bandits left anything that we can use to track them."

"The rest of you go and help the villagers put out any fires that they have not yet dealt with. Everyone report to me as soon as possible. We want to start getting on the trail before sundown."

All these orders were met with "Yes Sire" in response. While Merlin takes over the treating of the woman, Arthur walks towards the two children that are watching him with frightened eyes. One is a girl that looks to be about five and has big brown eyes and dark curly hair that somehow reminds him of Guinevere. He realises that he misses her more than he should. The child moves closer to the boy as Arthur approaches and the boy tightens his hold on her. Arthur smiles as he crouches near them trying to put them at ease. He understands their fear as he had seen it on a lot of victims of attacks since he had started going on missions as a knight. Their lives have been turned upside down in an instant and the experience would probably haunt them for the rest of their lives.

"My name is Arthur," he says to the pair, who are watching him like he has seven eyes and horns. "I am a knight of Camelot".

The boy's eyes light up momentarily with admiration before he averts his gaze back to the woman. Neither child utters a word. So Arthur tries again.

"Would you mind telling me your names?" Still no response came.

"Is that your mother who is lying there?" The little girl gives him a small nod.

"My friend Merlin is very good with treating people who are hurt. He will do everything that he can to make sure your mother is alright. Would you show me which one is your house?"

The little girl turns and points out a hut that is just behind them. Unfortunately, it is one of those that have been burnt down. Arthur can see what looks like grain scattered all over. When she turns back to the children, she notices that the girl looks like she is about to start crying again and decides to distract them. He goes to Merlin's horse that is carrying their supplies and comes back with two apples which he offers to the children who are looking suspiciously at him.

"Would you like some apples?"

The girl is reaching out to take one when his brother stops her.

"Isie, remember mother said that we are not to take food from strangers."

Isie looks sad as she eyes the apple longingly. "But Gaweth I am thoo hungwy." She looks like she is about to burst into tears again.

"I am not a total stranger um…Gareth, is it? I am a knight in the king's army and I have come to find out what happened to your village. I am sure your mother would trust the king's men, wouldn't she?" Arthur encourages with a small smile.

"My mother thays the king ith a good man, and Gaweth wanths to be a knight." Isie says helpfully.

Arthur smiles widely and looks at Gareth. "I bet you would be a good knight Gareth. You are so brave to look after your mother and sister like this. I am sure your mother is very proud of you. "

Gareth gives Arthur a wan smile and hesitantly extends his hand to receive the apples. Arthur lets out a silent sigh of relief as the children gobble up their apples hungrily. From the corner of his eye Arthur sees Ewan approaching with a middle aged man with dark hair that has patches of grey in it. He stands up and starts walking towards the approaching men, eager to get any information that can help them follow the attackers' trail.

The village elder bows down before Arthur but Arthur holds him by the shoulders silently asking him to get up.

"Sire, we are honoured to have you in our village although under less than desirable circumstances. My name is Yugan. I'm the elder of this village."

"Yugan. What happened here?"

Yugan shakes his head in puzzlement. "Sire, they came out of nowhere. We have heard of attacks in other villages but it has never happened to us. We were totally unprepared. They started attacking without provocation. They started hitting our banns that have our food supplies, spilling grain everywhere. Some villagers tried to stop them and that when all hell broke loose. They started hitting people and when one of our men attacked one of theirs they killed him and burnt down several houses."

"Yugan I'm really sorry. We will do what we can to help you. Did you see any of their faces or did any of them speak? is there anything that you might have noticed that could help us identify these rogues?"

"Most of their faces were covered Sire, but some of them were shouting as they attacked us. They are definitely not from around here Sire. Their way of speaking is different. But I did notice that their capes had what seemed like a shield with a serpent."

Arthur's heart thumped.He and Ewan exchanged puzzled looks_. Why would Lot's men be attacking villages beyond his border? _While they were not on friendly terms, they had not actively sort aggression against each other. _Why_ these attacks and why now?

Arthur turned back to Yugan. "Can you show me where the bandit was injured?"

"Yes Sire. Please follow me."

Arthur and Ewan follow the village elder towards the far end corner of the village. Arthur notices the drips of blood on the ground and what looks like a grey piece of fabric that is covered in dried blood.

Arthur immediately instructs Ewan to gather up all his men. He figures that since the bandits have an injured man, they will not move as fast as they normally would. If they followed them right away, maybe they would be lucky enough to catch up with them. Arthur makes sure that the children and the other injured people would be taken care of before they leave.

The knights leave the village with promises of returning as soon as they can. The trail leads them to a forest near the edge of Camelot's border. As they venture further into the forest Arthur indicates for everyone to be quiet and stop moving. Having had a lot of experience in tracking, he knows that something is wrong. The forest seems too quiet. There is no bird song. Arthur gets off his horse and the rest of his knights follow suit swords already drawn. Arthur gives the signal for the knights to spread out in different directions. What happens next puzzles everyone afterwards. Arrows rain on them in a flash from different directions. Several manage to meet their targets. It takes just a moment for the knights of Camelot to recover from their confusion before men noisily charge on them. Arthur takes three men and disposes of them in no time at all. Discretely, Merlin uses his magic on one man who was about to attack him with a mace, causing the man to hit himself with it.

Arthur finds himself facing a very big opponent. The man's face is set in an ugly twist and Arthur knows it is just a strategy to intimidate. He knows that this is a fight to the death and there is no room for nerves as they can cause one to make mistakes. Arthur quickly looks around and takes note of his surroundings. He watches his opponent carefully and he knows the signs to look for when he is about to strike. He noted the tense hands and shoulders and gets ready. He blocks the first assault and dodges the next, keeping his feet firmly planted on the ground. Although is, on the average, a big man, he is not as big as his opponent and he is therefore more agile and finds it easier to manoeuvre. They parry for a while neither yet gaining any advantage over the other. His opponent has the advantage of height and strength and Arthur knows that parrying with the man for long would only be to his disadvantage as it would wear him out. Arthur attacks using all his strength and skill, forcing his opponent to move backwards, doing exactly what Arthur wants him to do. At the same time, Arthur targets his lower body, knowing that he is not quick enough on his feet. He manages to connect with a thigh causing the man to howl in pain although he does not fall. The king hits the bandit on his face with the hilt of his sword and takes advantage of the man's momentary distraction and rains quicker and harder assaults on him driving him further back. The bandit is no longer paying too much attention to anything except defending himself and does not realise that Arthur is driving him towards a tree stump that is directly behind him. Within moments, the giant is lying on his back with the tip of Arthur's sword on his chest. Arthur makes quick work of him.

It does not take too long after that before the attackers are defeated. Arthur gives the order for the knights to check on the injured and also check for any survivors amongst the bandits. When fanning out they also discover a body close to where they had been attacked. Reports start coming in to Arthur from all directions. They have lost two knights and three others have been injured, two of not seriously. Arthur goes to check on the injured and his heart feels like it has dropped from his chest when he realises that the badly injured knight has a bow protruding from his chest. The knight is groaning in agony and Arthur is left with no words to say when he realises that the injured knight is Sir Ewan.

**A/N: So sorry for the delay in posting. l have been very busy over the last four or so months. **

**Hope you liked it. It was difficult to write as I know nothing about fighting. Please tell me what you think.**

**I am curious to know what you thought of the finale for those who watched it.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Today is my birthday so can Merlin belong to me for a second please?**

**Forbidden Forbidden Forbidden Forbidden Forbidden Forbidden**

It is at times like these that Arthur almost wishes there was a way of knowing he is doing the right thing. But then again what choice does he have, really? Ewan is badly injured and they would not be sure of the extent of his injuries until a physician has had a chance to examine him. But anyone looking at him knows that the young knight is in very bad shape and needs the attention of a physician immediately. At the same time moving him could pose danger to the young life. Arthur feels caught between a rock and a hard place.

After much discussion, it is decided that Ewan needs to be moved to a secure and clean environment where he can recuperate in peace. In the end Arthur reasons that it would make sense to move all the injured knights to the Kinilworth estate as it is closest. He is not sure how Ewan's parents will take it but he knows that in the end all they would wish for is for the son to receive the best care. He instructs Merlin to make Ewan as comfortable as he possibly can.

Merlin gives Ewan a draft that puts him into a deep sleep before he takes a dagger and carefully chops off part of the protruding arrow. He knows that they cannot take it out at that point as the knight would probably bleed to death. Knights are quickly sent to the nearest village to borrow a cart that they could use to transport the injured knights. Arthur sends Leon to Leodegrance Castle to inform them of the events and to beg them for their hospitality in accommodating the party of knights. He knows that they have enough room, that though their castle is not as large as his, it is large enough to accommodate some of the knights. The rest of the knights could set up tents somewhere on the grounds. He would make sure to cover all costs that they would incur while there. They would hunt so that there would be enough meat to serve them all. He had instructed Leon to make sure the local physician would be waiting for them when they arrived. Percival is sent to Ewan's parents with a letter for them to make their way to the Kinilworth estates. He had hinted at Ewan being injured but the extent he had not. Arthur considers it better to inform them of the tragic events of that day personally.

The journey to their chosen destination is slow and testing as the heavens decide to open up once again. They try to shield the injured from the rains as much as possible. Regardless, everything they have ends up wet. When it gets too dark for them to continue, they are forced to make camp as they cannot risk travelling in the dark. Too many dangers lurked in the dark including that of getting lost. Arthur would have liked to push on so that Ewan would get the attention he needs but he knows that doing that would endanger more lives.

Sometime during the night, Merlin realises that Ewan has developed a fever. He is not sure whether it is because of the wound or he had just caught a cold because of the rains. He tries to use his magic but he had not yet mastered the healing spells well and therefore does not get the desired outcome. Instead the fever worsens making Arthur anxious to move on. Merlin uses some of the herbs he moves around with to contain the fever and hopes for the best. Never before have men ever wished more for dawn to come as the knights do at that point.

When they eventually make it to Kinilworth castle, they are wet, hungry and bickering amongst themselves. Arthur does not have any energy to stop them and he understands that it is stemming from a combination of exhaustion and frustration. They are received by Gwen's aunt and brother and a crew of servants. A room has already been prepared for the injured and they are immediately taken there. The physician is in the room, an array of vials, roots and herbs displayed on the only table in the room and already giving instructions to those carrying the injured. Ewan and the other injured knights are laid on the prepared beds according to the physician's instructions. A servant is assigned to help the physician. The physician, Sigmond, immediately sets to work. Merlin, though completely exhausted offers to help him, an offer that Sigmond acknowledges and accepts but only on condition that that he rests first. Merlin, though anxious about Ewan realises that he would not be of much help to the physician in his current state.

The physician's first task is to remove the arrow that is protruding from Ewan's chest. There is the obvious worry of him not being able to contain the bleeding. Then of course there is the issue of the fever, which he knows has already weakened the young knight's body. Sigmond knows that there are two possibilities as to the cause of the fever; either the arrow that struck him had been laced with poison or Ewan had caught an infection. Either situation is bad for the young knight. The physician knows the next few days are going to be critical. He shares this news with the worried king, an anxious looking Lady Katherine, and Elyan. After the discussion of the knight's condition, the king escorts Lady Katherine, Elyan in tour, out of the room to a lounge at the heart of the castle. It is the king's intention to discuss how they are going to inform Guinevere, because he knows that much as he would have liked to spare her the pain, she has a right to know. He can tell that Lady Katherine is visibly shaken and is barely containing the tears that are threatening to spill from eyes that are increasingly turning red. If he could have his way, he would have spared her and discussed the issue with Elyan instead, but he knows that as the guardian the lady would want to be present when decisions concerning her ward are made.

Elyan rings for a servant and orders refreshments. Arthur's body feels itchy and he wants, no, needs a hot bath like nothing else and would have gladly killed for one, but one of his main concerns at the moment is Guinevere. He knows that if they are to dispatch someone to Camelot, this discussion has to be done immediately.

After a few moments only interrupted by Lady Katherine intermittent sniffs, Arthur clears his throat to gain the attention of the other two.

"Lady Katherine, Lord Elyan, I am sorry to be a burden to you and your household by imposing myself and my men on you without much notice. We are eternally indebted to you for your kindness."

Elyan bows his head in deference to his sovereign.

"Sire, we are indeed honoured to host you. We would not have had it any other way except maybe a difference in circumstance."

Arthur acknowledges Elyan's obsequiousness and dives into the matter at hand.

"I have taken the initiative to ask Ewan's parents to present themselves here. I did not think it to be appropriate that they should be informed by anyone else regarding the situation we are faced with. I am not sure what their decision will be regarding their son being here but I thought since Gwen… I mean, Lady Guinevere, indicated that you were all friends, they would not mind overly much. But we shall learn of their decision soon enough. Although from Ewan's condition I daresay it would be dangerous to move him."

"Sire, we thank you for looking out for Sir Ewan. I am sure that Sir Robert and Lady Brianna will not mind. They will take whatever the physician prescribes as best for their son."

Arthur's other worry is Guinevere. From the little that he has leant of the lady, he knows that Gwen would prefer to be informed and he is anxious that he does that immediately. He, however, is trying to think of an appropriate way to bring up the subject when Elyan brings it up.

"Sire, my sister should be informed of the developments here. We humbly ask if you could dispatch a messenger to her."

"I was thinking the same thing. Does Lady Gwen have any friends that are around? She will need the comfort of a friend in the trying days ahead?"

"She has a few childhood friends but she tends to keep a lot to herself. Between her love for archery and horses she has little time for socialising." Elyan says with an affectionate smile causing his aunt to snort in frustration and Arthur can tell that the subject has been a source of argument between the older woman and her ward. Arthur remembers Gwen's love for the creatures and cannot help the smile that takes shape on his lips as a picture of Gwen hugging his horse comes to mind. Suddenly, a vision of spiralling curls and an angelic face lodges itself in his brain and he has to blink rapidly several times to get rid of it. He realises he has lost all sense of decorum. _Her relatives are right here and her fiancé is fighting for his life._ His feelings make him feel guilty and ashamed. Besides if her brother were to find out about the inappropriate thoughts that he has for his sister, he might be forced to defend her honour. He jerks himself back to reality and notes with unease that Elyan's eyes are trained on him narrowly. _Great! All he needs is another person to know about his feelings for Gwen. _Although he cannot see it happening, he knows for sure, killing the brother of someone you have feelings is definitely not the way to win the said lady's heart. _Not that I am trying to win Gwen's heart, of course, because that would be just…inconsiderate and selfish and unscrupulous. And everyone knows how noble I am! Ewan needs Gwen more than I do right now. _Arthur schools his features once again and clears his throat.

"I will ask my sister to accompany her. They seem to have hit it off. I will send the messenger promptly. If you do not mind I was thinking of not telling her how grave the situation is but stress that she is to come hastily."

"That would be best, Sire. Thank you once again"

"No need to thank me. I am responsible for my men after all," And though his throat constricts just thinking about it, "And Lady Guinevere is the intended of one of my most loyal knights. It follows that I would be concerned for her too for that reason _(Lord, don't strike me for fibbing!). _Besides, you have so graciously extended your hospitality to an army of hungry, dirty and noisy knights. It's the least I can do."

"Well sire, as I said before, it is our honour. If you are ready, I can show you to your chambers. I will assign you my manservant to look after you. I am sure you would like to take a bath."

"I do appreciate your offer, Lord Elyan but I have brought my own servant. I am sure he is sleeping in a broom cupboard or an alcove somewhere right now but I am sure I can manage. If you just show to my chambers, Merlin can take it from there.

As Elyan and Arthur leave the lounge, Arthur is shocked to see Merlin standing albeit sleeping on his feet like a cow. He looks relieved at seeing Arthur being escorted to his chambers. Arthur figures that it is because he does not know yet where he is to sleep otherwise he would have disappeared already. They reach the chambers and Merlin is grateful to see that a hot bath has already been prepared for the king. Elyan indicates a smaller room that is near the king's suite as Merlin's for the duration of their stay. He leaves them to settle down indicating that lunch could be brought to the king's chambers if he so wished.

Arthur's first mission was to send Merlin to find the messenger while he sat down to write short letters to both Morgana and Gwen and a third to the head of the royal guard, Sir Warrick, on the escort for the ladies . By the time Merlin comes back with Thomas, Arthur has finished putting the royal seal on them and emphasises to Thomas how important it is that he gets to Camelot promptly. Thomas departs for Camelot with strict instruction to make sure the ladies would be on their way to Kinilworth without delay.

Merlin helps the king get ready for his bath and lays out a clean tunic and breaches for him to change into.

Arthur is just enjoying the effect the hot water and bathing salts are having on his tired bones and is feeling himself slowly being lulled into a semi- conscious state.

"I cannot wait to see Gwen again although the circumstances are not the best. I actually did not realise it but I miss my little chats with her." Merlin says his countenance pensive.

Arthur just grunts noncommittally. Merlin approaches the tub.

"Arthur, I must advise you to tread carefully while with Gwen while we are here."

Arthur head comes up sharply at Merlin's statement.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that while we are here can you and Gwen try to not give each other the pathetic googly eyes and those stupid longing stares. In fact just stay away from her."

"Merlin, I am not a complete imbecile. Of course I already know that. Besides, I am not heartless. Ewan needs Gwen right now and I know I have no rights over her. So I have already resolved to stay away from her."

"Easily said than done. Besides I know your propensity for trouble Arthur."

"Wow Merlin that is a big word. Do you even know what it means?"

"Arthur, I am being serious. If you are not careful, you will either disgrace Gwen or her brother will challenge you to a fight to defend his sister's honour. Killing Gwen's brother will definitely cause any feelings she has for you to die a quick and natural death. Besides, you could end up badly hurt or dead and we know what that would mean for the kingdom."

"Merlin I have been taught to kill since birth. I could not lose to a boy who has hardly had any formal training."

"You are too arrogant for your own good. Gwen has told me that Elyan is quite skilled at the sword. Who knows he might be just be as good as you are or even better. Anyway, whatever happens, it is Gwen who will lose the most here. So just tread carefully here."

Arthur sobers up momentarily. All the things that Merlin has pointed are things that he himself had contemplated. He has a great concern for Gwen and would never want anything that he does to hurt her. He would rather lose one of his limbs than let that happen. In that moment, Arthur realises the intensity of his feelings for Lady Guinevere. He has never felt that way about any woman. There were always beautiful women that were being paraded in front of him by ambitious parents. He had a few dalliances that had not amounted to anything. With Gwen, he feels like he has been hit with the force of a tornado and yet they had barely touched. Is it even possible to feel so much for someone with whom you had done nothing more than have a few moment with. Apparently it is, but the dilemna is that Arthur has no clue what to do about it. He knows that she is not free but clearly something in him seems to ignore that every time. Now, it was even more complicated with Ewan fighting for his life. Gwen could very well be the reason he might have the will to win that fight. He just has to admit defeat. Gwen and him could never be. So why does he feel like he is about to choke whenever he tries ponder a life without Gwen, a life without experiencing her touch or the sensation of his lips on hers?

"Sire, is there anything else that you would like me to do?"

Arthur is visibly startled when Merlin speaks, forcing him out of his reverie.

"Merlin you can go. You can give instruction for my lunch to be brought here. I won't need you for the rest of the afternoon. You can come help me prepare for the evening meal."

Arthur needs time to think. He just needs a strategy to get over his feelings for Gwen because clearly it was no use pinning over what you cannot have. Besides he has other things to worry about. Injured knights and yet still no answer to the problem of who might be responsible for the attacks.

**A/N So Gwen and Arthur are going to be reunited. Will their love die or blossom? Will Ewan live or die? Stay close!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Love the characters but they are not mine**

**Thank you all for your continued support. You don't know how much it encourages me to continue writing. Love you guys!**

The whole household, including the servants, are lined up outside the castle. Arthur can almost cut through the tense atmosphere with a knife. Although it is rather windy outside, no one seems to be paying much attention to the weather. A messenger had arrived a few moments before to announce the arrival of the party from Camelot. Arthur knows that the anxiety on everyone else's part is because of the condition that Ewan is in and them anticipating how hard Gwen is likely to take it. Arthur has the same concerns but unfortunately he is in a worse condition because hell has broken loose in his stomach and the devil seems to be playing ping pong in his gut. He knows that despite the pep talk he has been giving himself several times now on how he should forget about _her_, he really has not. On the other hand he realises the need for clear thinking and making sensible decisions. Gwen cannot be his as long as she is attached to Ewan. Notwithstanding Merlin's lecture and his own to himself, he cannot help but literally shake with anticipation mixed with trepidation at the prospect of seeing her again, a somewhat bad combination for a man like him.

The sound of horses neighing and horse shoes connecting with the ground has an amazing effect on the gathered group. The servants stand straighter and the nobility start shifting around suddenly more nervous than they had been before. To Arthur, it seems like his heart is following the rhythm of the horses' hooves. Anyone looking at him would be fooled by his calm exterior. He looks every inch the king and warrior, regal and cool and with nothing to fear. Much as he can control how he appears on the outside, he cannot help the rate at which his heart is over-working at this point and that seems to increase in tempo as the expected party draws nearer. He is not wearing his amour, actually he is dressed in a light tunic and a long burgundy sur-coat but he feels the first trickles of sweat down his chest, a result of over-heated skin. He experiences a sudden urge to wipe his neck and smell his armpits. He cannot greet her sweating or smelling like a pig.

The carriage housing the princess and Lady Guinevere stops in the courtyard near the entrance of the castle where the party is gathered. Lady Guinevere is the first to alight, helped by the footman and there is a little murmur of excitement amongst the staff. Arthur's jaw could have easily dropped to the ground. _Had she just grown even more beautiful in his absence?_ Her smile has the radiance of the sun, beautiful and blinding as the same time. He almost steps forward, feeling a pull towards her that he has little power resisting. Thankfully Merlin seems to have anticipated this and hampers his movement by placing a hand on his elbow. He almost jerks away from the touch in anger until he looks up and finds Merlin pinning him down with a warning look. Arthur quickly regains his wits and stays put, drinking in Guinevere's presence with all the greed of a man long gone without it.

Guinevere steps forward hugging her aunt affectionately, who returns the hug stiffly, and then shares a long tight embrace with Elyan. Arthur realises that there is a strong bond between the two siblings as Elyan tells Gwen how much he has missed her. Gwen draws forward the Lady Morgana, who is looking every bit the princess she is, towards her aunt and brother who are beaming, not believing their fortune to be in the company of not just the king but his sister as well. Gwen introduces Morgana to her two relations who in turn curtsey and bow respectfully. Elyan kisses the lady's knuckles uttering words of welcome.

The business of salutations and introductions takes far too much time in his opinion and Arthur can hardly stand it. He predicts that if it continues for longer, he is going to either turn into a puddle of liquid impatience or embarrass himself immensely. He just cannot wait any longer to have a chance to gaze at Gwen's lovely face and have her look at him directly. All thoughts of propriety thrown out of the window (and anyway he is king and who would dare point it out), he steps forward tugging at Morgana's sleeve. Morgana is forced to turn towards the king and finds herself gathered in an awkward bear hug. Arthur can tell Morgana is shell shocked by the way she momentarily tenses against him and he hopes she does not look it. As this is probably the first time since they had reached puberty that such displays of affection have been exchanged between them, who can blame her? Uther had never been one for public displays of affection, deeming them a sign of weakness and unfortunately had drilled the same philosophy into his children at an early age. Although when they were younger, there had been one or two occasions that had called for such sources of solace; they had found other less obvious ways of expressing their affection. Arthur feels his chest expand with something akin to pride when he notices Gwen smiling at them indulgently as she waits her turn to greet the king. Arthur coolly extracts herself from Morgana and faces the woman who has been haunting his thoughts and dreams for what seems like eons. His eyes lock with her brown ones and he feels his heart thud like a war drum. It is precisely at that moment that Arthur realises that has fallen in love with her. _God help me_. The force of his acknowledgement threatens to uproot him from where he stands. His insides threaten to bubble up into a fountain of wonder and joy. _I am in love with her. _The knowledge stuns him for a moment. He has never been in love before but somehow he knows. Heknows that what he feels for her cannot be reversed or suppressed. He knows that it is not just a fancy that is going to pass with time. He knows that as long as they both breathe, he will not be satisfied with anyone else or anything less than this real love.

A nudge from Merlin reminds him of what he is supposed to do and he takes her hand with a shaking one. If someone is to ask him what he is feeling, he would describe it like he is in a bubble where he is doing all the expected faultlessly and yet his world has been rocked from its foundation. The force of a newly discovered love can be overwhelming. It is magnifying every feeling, every sensation. It is a wonder that as he kisses her knuckles, he does not let his mouth linger or let the tip of his tongue brush against her soft skin, because heaven knows how much he is tempted to, and the effort it takes not to close his eyes to savour the feeling of her skin on his lips leaves him weak at the knees. When he releases her hand he feels bereft, and wishes he could have held on to her a little bit longer. However her smile is more than compensation, leaving him dazed and grinning stupidly like a simpleton. Merlin rolls his eyes in disgust, thinking he has never seen the clot pole so whipped. Keeping the two apart is going to prove more of a challenge than he has the strength for. However, for the sake of everyone's peace of mind he silently vows to make sure that Arthur would tow the line and not pose any harm to Gwen's reputation.

Arthur watches Gwen greeting Ewan's parents with the same affection, and Lady Brianna, who seems to have never stopped crying in the past few days, starts dabbing the corner of her eyes as she converses with Gwen. Eventually Gwen moves on and continues to greet the servants that are lined up and seem excited about her return. Arthur is struck by how much Gwen is caring towards even the servants. She greets each by name, asking about their spouses and children or siblings and parents if they were not married. It leaves him in awe, because he has never been one to be bothered about servants or their families , except Merlin maybe, who he probably knew so much about because he prattled on whether he was listening or not. He definitely does not know the name of the cook or the maidens who clean the castle floors. To his credit, he knows the names of the stable hands and some of the squires; but knows nothing about them that is personal. There is just something about Guinevere's relationship with her servants that brings warmth and a little bit of sunshine in the gloom that has engulfed the castle since the day they had arrived with the injured knights. Arthur cannot help but marvel at the effect that just one person can have on a tense atmosphere. It is like her presence alone had lifted a dark cloud, which is quite a wonder because everyone's previous anxiety had stemmed from the uncertainty of how Gwen was faring given that her fiancé's life was hanging by a thread. Of course she is not really in the picture of how things are as he had not indicated in his letters how badly hurt Ewan was, but the urgency of the note must have raised suspicion especially with her sister who knows him better.

The party splits up once the ladies are escorted inside, the nobles following into the castle through the main entrance while the servants use their own. Gwen is holding Lady Brianna's hand and speaking to her in quiet tones that Arthur cannot catch but as they enter the living room, Gwen and Lady Brianna excuse themselves so that they can go and visit Ewan. Morgana indicates to Arthur that she would like to talk to him before Lady Katherine and escorts Lady Morgana to the chambers in the east wing that are next to Gwen's so that she can freshen up. Morgana would have preferred to be with her new friend but also realises that the lady might need privacy. In the meantime Arthur would fill her in on what was really going on. She wants to make sure she will be ready to comfort her friend.

Gwen and Lady Brianna approach the chambers that the physician has been allocated in silence, each one seemingly lost in their thoughts. Gwen's heart is thudding. During their journey from Camelot, she had told Morgana of the decision that she had made a couple of nights before. She knows that she does not love Ewan the way she ought to. Marrying him would never bring happiness to either of them. Expecting either of them to be content with less would not be fair. Ewan is a good gentleman who deserves someone who will totally adore him every inch as much as he does her. She had resolved to tell him and cry off their betrothal. She longs to have as good a marriage as her parents had had, a marriage based on love not convenience. Painful as it is for her to go against her father's dying wish, she knows her father's ultimate concern had been her happiness.

As she walks with Lady Brianna, she is afraid of what she will find. From the grim and pitying faces that had met her on her arrival, she knows that situation has to be grave. Gwen knocks at the door as soon as they get to the chambers, and Lady Brianna momentarily takes her hand, trying to provide strength for the younger woman. A quiet but audible affirmative answer for them to enter comes from within the chambers and Gwen's hand squeezes Lady Brianna neither of them sure whether she is trying to draw some assurance from or giving it. The first thing that Gwen notices is the nauseating smell that one would associate with sickness. Then she notices that the chambers have been rearranged. A long table, a mirror, wardrobes and other pieces of furniture that grace similar chambers in the castle have been moved out. Three beds placed parallel to each other, take up most of the space. The only other piece of furniture in the room is a smaller table that is cluttered with herbs, vials and portions.

The physician on realizing who his visitors are, moves forward bowing his head in greeting. Gwen is well acquainted with him, having spent her fair amount of time with him attending to her sprained ankles and wrists, concussions, grazes and bruises associated with her chosen hobbies.

"My ladies."

"Sigmond." Gwen nods acknowledging the physician's greetings. "How is Ewan?"

Sigmond swallows hard, seeming to have run at a loss of words. "My lady, I…." His eyes dart from Gwen to the Lady Brianna's face, indicating his reluctance to say things that would upset the gently born ladies.

"Please Sigmond, I want to know. And can I see him please? Is he conscious?"

Without answering any of her questions verbally, the physician beckons Gwen to follow him. Ewan's bed is furthest from the door, and closest to the windows in the room. The curtain have been drawn slightly allowing a little of the natural light from outside to come in.

Gwen gasps in shock when she reaches Ewan. A bloody looking bandage runs along the expanse of his chest. His pallor of his skin frightens her beyond imagination. His forehead is wet with sweat showing that he is running a bad fever. His eyes are closed but his head is tossing sideways, fingers clutching the now wet sheets obviously delirious. His cheeks are so gaunt it tears at Gwen's heart. She almost cannot liken the vibrant and daring young man she had spent so much time with to this poorly looking man that does not seem to have any hold on reality. Turning to the physician, tears already running down her checks uninhibited, Gwen whispered shakily.

"What happened to him?"

"From what I was told, the king's party was ambushed while following a trail. Sir Ewan was shot with an arrow." Sigmond explains looking uncomfortable having to answer the question.

"Is the wound infected? Why does he have a fever?"

"When they arrived, he already had a fever. I thought at the time that he might have caught a cold since it rained heavily on their way. My theory was soon proved wrong as there were no other symptoms of a cold. I was then convinced that it might be that the wound had become infected. But an infected wound would have other signs that give it away. Just this morning I discarded this theory as well. I am sorry to say this, but I think the arrow was poisoned. But without any knowledge of which poison was used, it is difficult for me to find the antidote. I am going to have to try a few common ones that are normally used. I am praying that one of them will be the right one. At this time, my ladies, I would caution you to prepare for the worst. Nothing short of a miracle is needed for us to have a favourable result."

Lady Brianna staggers as if she has been hit, an anguished moan from escaping her. Gwen reaches out to her in time, stopping her from tumbling over. They embrace each other, seeking comfort that only someone who has experienced the same thing is able to provide. They spend some time in that position, crying quietly and rubbing each other backs in sympathy, trying to be strong for the other. After a while, they break apart, with Gwen facing the physician who is looking like he would rather have been anywhere else but here. Gwen knows that some men are not comfortable with weeping females but surely as a physician, he must have had been in a lot of similar situations.

Very quietly such that the physician has to lean forward to catch what she is saying Gwen addresses the elephant in the room, "How long?"

The physician knows what she is asking. "If none of the antidotes work, then it could be anything between a day and three days."

The two ladies bow their heads in indubitable grief. Gwen raises her head a moment later. 'Sigmond, we have to find the antidote. We cannot just give up," she says determination marring her whole face.

"My lady…"

"No, I'm not going to accept this without a fight. Sigmond, there is another remedy that a neighbour once told me about. Do you mind if we try it as well?"

"My lady, at this point I will welcome any ideas that you might have because I am almost at the end of my tether."

"You have to clean the wound with honey soaked in dowels made of elder pith and wrapped in linen. Then you dress the wound with a poultice of barley and honey mixed in turpentine."

"Thank you, my lady. I will certainly try it."

"And now that I am here, I would like to come and help you. So you just need to tell me what to do. It has to be rather busy with three bed- ridden men."

"Not to worry my lady, Lady Katherine has availed me three servants to help at the command of the king. So I have at least one at my beck and call at any given time, day and night."

"I have to remember to thank His Majesty for his generosity. Nonetheless, I would like to relieve you once in a while so you can rest. As you know, I nurse Papa before his passing, may his soul rest in peace."

"Your kindness is much appreciated, my lady." Sigmond says, bowing respectfully.

"For now I will go and freshen up and I will come back after the afternoon meal, if it is acceptable to you?"

At the physician's consenting bow, Gwen escorts a reluctant Lady Brianna out of the chambers. She knows the physician will need his space to try out the remedies they have agreed upon. The presence of a doting mother would do more harm than good.

As soon as they leave, Lady Brianna pulls Gwen into an alcove taking the younger lady by surprise.

"Gwen, I need to talk to you. Can I talk to you freely?"

"You know you can Lady Brianna," a puzzled Gwen replies.

"Well I was just thinking that since you and Ewan were already planning your nuptials, and would have been married in about two months, would you mind bringing them a bit closer?"

"Ahhh.." is Gwen's shocked response.

Lady Brianna quickly jumps in, "It's just that Ewan has been so excited about it and that is all he kept talking about when he last visited us. But now…," she sniffs clearly unable to continue.

Gwen feels like all the bile in her gut is gathering in her throat and is competing to sprint into her mouth.

"Lady Brianna…," she just manages to let out suddenly hot and faint.

"I know you might not have thought about it but Ewan's condition is so uncertain and I know if he has any regrets, one of them is that he did not marry you much earlier. He has always adored you."

Gwen tries to speak but is cut off by a desperate mother pleading her son's cause.

"You don't have to give me an answer right away. Please think about it, but maybe not for too long? It's just that I don't know how much time we have… Gwen I know you are fond of Ewan. I beg you, please consider my request. Besides, your love might be the only thing that could bring Ewan back to us."

**A/N: I'm really sorry my updates have been sporadic. I'm really busy and it's taking me longer and longer to write each chapter. Tell me if you liked this one. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Warning: Longish chapter.**

**I don't really own them but I use them**

He does not know how to handle this Arthur. He had dealt with pouting Arthur, morose Arthur, angry Arthur, excited Arthur, sad Arthur and of course pratty Arthur. But this one, he has no clue. Arthur has been cursing, sighing and pacing the floor until Merlin swears he can see a footpath on the floor. Merlin has not yet been able to get anything out of him so he has not been much help to his master and friend at all. So like a good friend, he tries again.

"Arthur, mayhap if you were to tell me what the problem is, I could help find a solution. It can't be that bad, whatever it is."

"Well, it is because you don't know what it is Merlin."

"Exactly my point, Arthur. Sometimes two heads are better than one."

"Yes but I don't know if one of those heads is yours."

"Well you are certainly not going to find a solution drilling ridges into the floor with your pacing like you are doing right now. Okay let me see, it can't about Camelot; there hasn't been any messengers that have arrived. It can't be about the bandits; there hasn't been any attacks that have been reported since the knights got injured. Which leaves only one other possible matter." Merlin contemplates, brows furrowed and eyes narrowed.

Arthur should have known that Merlin would not give up easily. He had hoped that his uncooperativeness would put Merlin off.

"Is this about Gwen?"

Arthur's whole body jumps to attention although he tries to disguise it. Merlin almost laughs out aloud. It would be funny if it wasn't so …so… something.

He pins Merlin down with a deadly glare.

"Oh so _it is_ about Gwen?"

Another scorching glare.

"So what has Gwen done this time?"

"What makes you think she has done something?"

"Well, let's see. You are giving me the looks from hell. You have been pacing up and down like a mad man and your face has developed worry lines. Should I go on?"

"Alright, alright I will tell you. But you have to keep this to yourself. If I ever learn that you told this to anyone, I will make your life a living hell."

"More than you do already?"

"Yes."

"Okay I promise, I will take your secret to the grave."

"I wish that were true. We both know you cannot keep a secret to save your life. But I will tell you anyway." Arthur releases a loud sigh and sits down on his bed. "Well Morgana summoned me to her chambers as you know. She said she had something important to tell me."

"Concerning?"

"Apparently Lady Brianna has asked Guinevere to consider having the marriage ceremony as soon as possible in the hope that it will help Ewan's recovery. Something about giving him a reason to fight for his life." He mumbles through the last part.

"I can see the logic in what she is saying, but what is Gwen saying?"

"That's it, I don't know. I have not had a chance to talk to her about it. But what if she agrees?"

"Good for her. After all they are betrothed. They were going to get married anyway. Whether it's today or tomorrow doesn't really matter." And then he realizes that the look that Arthur is giving him could easily knock his head off. "Or maybe… it does?" Merlin amends hesitantly.

Arthur first scowls and then sighs combing his hair with his fingers in frustration.

"Arthur, what is going on?"

"I find myself in an arduous position Merlin. On one hand I feel guilty for feeling the way I do, but on the other, I can't help thinking I'm not to blame for the way I feel. I did try to stop it but I just couldn't help it. Nothing I have tried to do has changed the way I feel about her. It's like watching yourself going over a cliff and being unable to stop."

"Ah-h! You have finally realized the feelings you have for Gwen run much deeper." Arthur looks sharply at Merlin. "Yes Arthur, it is that obvious, a blind man could see it. I have been on pins and needles hoping the realization would come to you first before Elyan challenged you to a fight to the death for behaving improperly towards his sister. It seems this is the day it has finally dawned on you. So what are you going to do about it?"

"What can I do about it Merlin. I love her so much and I don't want her to marry Ewan. It would just about kill me if she did."

"So I repeat what are you going to do about it? Does she know how you feel?"

"Merlin I can't tell her. What will she think of me going after another man's woman? Besides what if she doesn't feel the same way about me?"

"Arthur, you will never know unless you tell her. You have everything to gain. If she feels the same way, you could stop her from marrying a man she doesn't love and thereby making the greatest mistake of her life. If she doesn't, you can stop obsessing over her and move on with your life."

"I am _not_ obsessing Merlin."

""Matter of opinion I guess. Anyway, it's always better to know isn't it? Either way you can start planning your life."

"What if she doesn't feel the same way I feel about her. Or maybe she is not willing to take me and all the baggage I come with. I know there are some ladies that would give an arm and a leg to become my queen and I just had to fall in love with someone who doesn't seem to care about sitting on the throne."

"Well, I rather think that makes her the perfect lady for you, don't you think? If she does like you it will be for who you are inside and not because her eyes are on the crown. After all you have always wanted to marry for love, haven't you? Here is your chance. Besides, I think the lady is not exactly indifferent to your charms."

Arthur's eyes have a little light of hope when they look up to Merlin. "You think she likes me? You think she would be willing to give me a chance Merlin?" At this point he really doesn't care he sounds like a desperate love sick juvenile.

"Honestly I don't know what she sees in you. You the most irritating person I know. You are stubborn, supercilious…"

"Oh that is a big word Merlin. Sure you even know what it means?"

"Condescending, conceited, patronizing …"

"Doesn't quite mean that."

"These are the other things you are."

"Merrrlin!"

"Big-headed, pompous, egotistical…"

"Shut up Merlin."

Merlin chuckles. It works like a charm every time, never disappointing. "You do have some redeemable character traits though. Like the way you care for your people; the way you are always willing to risk your life for your men or the way you never ask anyone to do what you yourself are unable or unwilling to do. You can be kind and surprising thoughtful. I'm sure Gwen has had a glimpse of those few qualities. She probably thinks you are a half decent king."

"Well at least I have the confidence of my servant. Maybe I will go and look for her right now."

"You do realize she might still be sleep…" it takes a few moments for Merlin to realize that he is now talking to himself.

Trapped, trapped and from all corners, that what Gwen feels one moment, and then the next she feels like she is choking and get enough air into her lungs. She tries to take a gulp of air but her throat muscles are constricted. The walls in her chambers feel like they are closing in on her and the room, suddenly devoid of air. _I need to get out of here._

"Relena, please get my riding attire. I need some fresh air."

"My lady, is something the matter? You look out of sorts?"

Gwen would normally talk to Relena but she is just too unsure of everything so she is not ready to talk. Besides airing her feelings might shock the poor innocent and sheltered girl and change the way she thinks of her mistress.

She forces herself to smile brightly. "I am fine Relena. I just need to go out for a spell." Her mind moves back to the previous night's events.

After her conversation with Lady Brianna she had spent the evening totally alone. She had not felt much like company. A visit from Morgana had not helped her melancholic mood. Morgana expressed her disgust at Lady Brianna's request in no uncertain terms and her words had not been complimentary towards the older lady, calling her selfish and manipulative. Gwen knows that the lady is none of those things as she knows her better but sees her request for what it is; a desperate act of a mother who loves her son deeply. She also knows Morgana has become a dear friend and she had not meant to be too judgmental but was only been looking out for her.

In the middle of the night she had paced the floor until she could see her footprints on the stone floor. She had tried to convince herself that she could marry Ewan and maybe find happiness; that her consent would be the best thing all around. But the memory of crystal blue eyes would not let that decision settle well in her heart; the recollection of soft looking full lips and a stunning mind- numbing pearly- white smile had haunted her like a wraith. If she had not known it before, she now knows for sure. She has fallen in love with the man who is deemed the best warrior in the five kingdoms. She swears that he is now haunting the confines of her chambers. The night seemed to stretch an eternity. Morning and thereby hope for a reprieve had not come soon enough for her.

So here she is in the morning and nothing much has changed. She still she cannot run away from her thoughts. She has decisions to make. Riding always helps clear her mind. Relena gets her ready quickly. She picks up her cloak and makes her way to the kitchens picking up some apples and continuing to the stables. It never ceases to amaze her how the smell of horses tends to uplift her spirits when other ladies of her station probably find it revolting. She moves through the stables talking to and touching every one of her horses until she reaches her priced palfrey, Dame Isobel. She greets the palfrey lovingly and she laughs delightedly at the way its ears prick at the sound of her voice.

"I missed you so much my lovely. Did you miss me?" She feeds Dame Isobel an apple and strokes her velvet nose affectionately.

Her head groom approaches and bows to her smiling.

"I am sure she did my lady. She positively pinned for you while you were away."

"Alexander, it's so good to see you. I have missed home immensely. Can you saddle her for me? I fancy a ride. "

"Of course, my lady. Are you going alone? Do you need me to ride with you? It might not be safe for you with all these bandits attacking villages around us."

"I will go with her, that is, if her ladyship doesn't mind." A voice disengages itself from around a corner. Gwen's heart bits a million times at a time. She turns her head and finds herself face to face with Arthur. He is in his riding attire as well. _How can one look so good in riding habit? Oh, the unfairness of it all! And how her heart beats so fast for him._

"Sire." She curtseys dipping her head modestly. Her eyes sneak a peek at him from underneath her eyelashes.

"Lady Guinevere," he acknowledges her bowing his head. He doesn't like the formality between them especially when all he wishes is to dip her low and give her the deepest kiss that would make a swoon.

"I thought I would ride out for a bit. I would be honored if you would allow me to keep you company." Arthur sends a silent prayer of forgiveness.

Arthur had gone to talk to Gwen and had been informed by her worried- looking maid servant that she had gone to the stables. He had known right away that she would probably be riding out and had asked Merlin to help him change into his riding apparel quickly. He had made his way to the stables in haste, silently hoping that he would not find her gone already. He did not fancy having to hunt her down, which he probably would have done if she had already left. She might think him outlandish which might not exactly aid his self- impose quest of making her fall so hopelessly in love with him, she would not deny him anything . He had been so relieved to hear her speaking to her groomsman. He had stayed hidden unsure of how he would get her to agree to go with her without a chaperone. At that moment he had realized that he had not thought his idea through. The groomsman had just given him a brilliant excuse which he grabbed with swiftness, not willing to look the horse gift in the mouth.

"Thank you Sire, but I do not want to put you out." She sounded so calm. How did she manage to sound so calm?

"It's no trouble at all as I was going for a ride myself." Hell's gates are surely open wide for him. "We might as well go together and put your groomsman's mind at rest." He looks pointedly at Alexander, who has no choice but to nod enthusiastically in concurrence, making it difficult for Gwen to protest any further, without raising the groom's suspicion.

Within moments they are trotting out into the crisp, frosty air. Gwen gives Dame Isobel her head, galloping to the edge of the forest. Arthur follows suit spurring his horse on after her. There is such a feeling of freedom and release from societal constraints as they gallop away from the castle. They take a path leading to the left until they come to a clearing. Gwen reins in her horse urging her to slow down so that they ride side by side at a slower canter and eventually a much slower pace. They come to a small stream and decide to stop for a while and rest. Arthur regrets not having had a picnic prepared. However, considering how impromptu the ride had been, there really had been no time for all that.

"The way you handle horses never ceases to amaze me, my lady. You truly have a gift."

"Thank you, sire. I would like to think so. I love riding and it's something that I do when I need to think. It helps me clear my mind and think clearly."

"You have something on your mind, my lady?"

Gwen had not seen that one coming or else she would have been careful with her words. She is not sure how she can come out of it.

"It's nothing that need concern you, sire. It is just some personal matter that I have been struggling with. I will not entangle you in my affairs."

"But if it concerns you, it definitely affects me my lady. I would like to help you if I can."

Gwen heart beats like a drum, threatening to come of its shell. How does she tell the man she is interested in that she is considering marrying another man?

"I don't know sire. It's a very delicate matter."

"Well I am very good at keeping secrets, ask anyone. I will take whatever you will tell me to my grave, knight's honor."

Gwen is still not sure but she really needs to hear someone else's point of view. She really doesn't have to disclose who it is, does she?

"Swear on your crown that you will not tell another soul. This could ruin someone's reputation."

"I swear by the word of the king."

Gwen giggles at Arthur's jesting. Arthur's chest swells at the sound and the knowledge that he has caused it.

"Alright, then, I will tell you." She seems unsure for a moment until he nods encouragingly.

"A friend of mine is betrothed to a man that she has recently found she doesn't ...eh love."

"Ah, I see. But isn't that the way with most nobles? What makes her situation any different?"

"The issue is, she has developed feelings for another," she continues shyly.

Arthur's heart is threatening to jump out through his chest. _Could it be?_

"Does the other gentleman know about her feelings for him?"

"I don't think so to be honest. My friend is too afraid to find out. She is not even sure if he feels the same way. You see my friend is not as bold as everyone thinks she is in matters of the heart having led a rather sheltered life like most of her peers. If only there was another way of knowing."

"Sometimes when something is important enough, a person needs to take a risk. Imagine if she never finds out and then she ends up in a loveless marriage when there is a chance the other gentleman feels the same. I believe that you need love to make marriage work better. A harmony of hearts is so important especially as marriage involves a lot of challenges."

Gwen knows he might not realize that he is talking about the two of them but Gwen cannot help the shortness of her breath or the way her heart constricts at his words. When he puts it that way it almost sounds very simple. The problem is, he does not know the rest of the story.

"You do seem to know a bit about love, may I be so forward as to assume that you have at some point experienced such emotion?"

Arthur takes his time to answer. He is looking at Gwen with a piercing expression that she cannot quite decipher but still creates havoc in her chest.

"You would be right in that assumption, my lady. The only problem is that like your friend I do not know whether the lady that I am sweet on feels the same way I feel about her."

With his words Gwen's heart plummets to the depth of the earth's pit. She wonders who the lucky lady is and how long he has been in love with her. _And yet she had thought… but clearly she had been mistaken._ A piercing jealous feeling goes through her heart like a double edged sword. However, noble as she is, she has to give the right advice.

"So maybe Sire, you might take the same advice that you have just given?" She raises her brow at him in challenge and yet a lump is lodged in her throat. She cannot believe she is challenging the man she loves to declare his love to another.

"Guinevere, may I call you by your given name?" He waits for her consent and moves on. "Yes, you are right of course. I really hate being hypocritical." Arthur moves closer to Gwen. His heart is beating so loud he swears she must see it through his cape. _It's now or never_. He continues so quietly that Gwen has to lean in to hear him. "So Gwen, do you?"

Now it's Gwen's heart that is moving towards her throat. "Do I what my Lord?" Her heart is like a swing. She dare not hope.

"Guinevere," he starts and her heart summersaults. The way he says her name alone can easily undo her. She has to deliberately force her mind to pay attention to the rest of his words.

"I hope I will not offend you but I have for some time wanted to tell you something that I have felt from the very first time I saw you." Arthur clears his throat as his voice turns hoarse from frayed nerves. "You see, I have found myself falling in love with you every day and though my head has told me that it is indeed folly to feel that way about a woman who is promised to another, I have been helpless to stop it."

"My Lord…" Gwen manages to gasp.

"If you don't feel the same way please just be free to tell me. Give it to me straight. I know I'm the king but I promise, I will not hold it against you if you do…" Arthur's heart is slamming against his rib cage. Her silence is worrying him. _Maybe she does not feel the same way. I want her to tell me, no wait I don't want to know. It will kill me. No maybe it's better for me to know. Darn it, I don't know what I want._

"Gwen please, say something. Don't be afraid to deny me. It will kill me but I will …"

"Sire, shut up! I mean shut up, Arthur." Ohhh the sound of his name on her lips almost …makes him almost swoon._ Do men swoon?_ It is positively orgasmic his eyes almost roll in ecstasy.

Gwen's eyes are twinkling with humor but Arthur recognizes something else, something that makes his hope flare and makes his heart move further up lodging itself in his mouth. _Could it be?_

He waits for her to say something but when she continues to gaze at him smilingly, he knows he will have to make the next move.

"Gwen, I hope I have not offended you but I had to say it."

"To the contrary, you have just solved one of my problems. Because you see, I have also discovered that I have fallen in love with the most handsome king in all the five kingdoms." She goes on despite the sharp intake of breath from Arthur. "And to hear that he feels the same way is priceless. So my Lord, I'm definitely not offended. "

Arthur moves closer towards her stalking her like prey. She remains rooted where she is, fascinated by the way he manages to move so quietly despite his size. No wonder he is such a great warrior.

When he reaches her and she is at arm's reach from him, he takes her hand gently, turns it and kisses her palm. Emotions the magnitude of a tidal wave hit her causing every nerve in her body to tingle and all the hairs on her body to stand at attention. His eyes never leave hers and Gwen cannot help the sensation that travels down her spine. Her mouth suddenly dry, she unconsciously licks it to moisten it. She realizes how her actions have affected Arthur when he freezes, his eyes dropping to her mouth before lifting up to her eyes again. He straightens himself, eyes still glued to hers.

He whispers, "Guinevere, I know I don't have the right to ask but may I please kiss you. I don't know if I could survive another moment without knowing the feel of your lips on mine."

Gwen shivers. Is it possible for a man to seduce with just his eyes and words because it is happening to her apparently.

She barely manages to nod her head, being sure that no word would come from her throat. Her eyes that have not moved once away from Arthur's definitely confirm her consent.

Arthur's kiss when it comes is like nothing she has ever experienced. It is soft and tentative but somehow it coxes every emotion out of her while it brands her at the same time. Every coherent thought leaves her normally keen mind. The kiss encourages her to forsake her cautious nature and lift up her arms placing them hesitantly on his chest. Goose pimples detonate on every surface of Arthur's body and he groans, drawing Gwen's body even closer. His tongue touches the surface of her lips cautiously not wanting to frighten her, while his body is screaming desire to throw all caution to the wind. Gwen releases a sound akin to the purr of a young kitten that almost breaks Arthur's control to smithereens as she allows Arthur further access into her sweet mouth.

They cling to one another giving and receiving from each other what they have until now dreamed of. By the time they both come up for air, their breaths are short and labored. They join their fore- heads trying to gain back some measure of control.

"Gwen I can hardly believe it. You really feel the same way I feel about you?"

"Well I really don't know how you feel my Lord but if you are as madly in love with as I'm with you then the answer is yes."

Arthur grins and brushes her lips with his. "I thought you said that you are not as bold as people think you are?"

"You knew that I was talking about myself didn't you? Was I that obvious?"

"It was only the hope of a man who is deeply in love and didn't know whether his feelings were reciprocated or not. I have a confession to make though."

"Let me guess. You are really not a king?" She teases. Arthur barks in laughter. One thing is for sure, he will never get bored around Gwen.

"There are times when I dream I wasn't but no I'm afraid I'm stuck with that responsibility. I did lie earlier about my plans for riding. I only decided to ride because I heard that you were going to ride out. I really needed to see you and convince you to fall in love with me."

"Really, my Lord? So did you succeed in your quest?"

"I'm not sure but I have one way of testing the outcome." His face looks serious but his eyes are twinkling with mischief.

"Pray do tell. What test is this, my lord? "

"I would rather show you, my lady." He says, sealing her lips with his again.

A/N So I had to cut this chapter at this point because it was just going on and on. It was getting too hard for me to keep my fav couple apart and decided it was time to get them together.


	11. Chapter 11

Time seems to have stopped for the two, overjoyed by the thrill of a newly found love. Their hearts are brimming over with love and they are reluctant for anything to penetrate their bubble. Hours drift by without either of them noticing. Between talking and kissing, they learn a lot about each other, like their favorite childhood memories, their favorite past- times, what they love the most about their lives. Arthur discovers what a compassionate person Gwen is, taking aid to the poor and sick in the surrounding villages during winter and Gwen finds out that beneath the arrogant façade he puts on, he is very loyal to his friends and has a high sense of fairness, which would explain the way he has been so torn at his feelings for her. He would never willingly cause his friends or men pain.

Arthur lays his cape on the grass so that they can sit and enjoy the sun that has suddenly made an appearance from behind the white clouds that lines the sky. Arthur cannot stop gazing at Gwen in wonder. He still cannot believe that this magnificent creature loves him. He is filled with such a sense of euphoria he cannot contain himself. He suddenly stands up, cups his hands over his mouth and shouts at the top of his lungs.

"She looove-s meee-e! Guinevere Leodgrance looovee-s meee-e!" Gwen giggles, swatting his legs with her gloves.

"Arthur-r-r shhh-h! Someone might hear you."

"I don't care. I want everyone in the world to know. I want to shout it from the peak of the highest mountain. I want to…to announce it to the four winds of the earth. I want to howl it to the moon and the sun. I am in love with the most beautiful woman in the world and she lo-o-ove-e-s me-e-e!"

Gwen chortles understanding this feeling of euphoria. The feeling of loving and being loved making her feel giddy. However, a thought niggles at her conscience. She still formally belongs to another. She does not want to dwell on that issue but Arthur notices her slight hesitation and sits down, knowing what has made her seem a bit deflated. He takes her hands in his, eyes boring into hers, determined.

"Guinevere, you cannot marry Ewan now. You have to cry off."

"Yes I know. I just do not know how I will do it. All I know is that there is no way I can be with Ewan after this."

"I don't think I would be able to stand by and let you do it either. It almost killed me watching you and Ewan before. Now that I know that you love me almost as much as I love you, I would positively murder anyone who attempts to touch you. I hope that does not shock your delicate sensibilities, my lady."

Gwen is surprised that it does not indeed shock her, but remembers how she had felt when she thought Morgana was Arthur's intended. She laughs a little remembering her jealousy even then when she did not know much about him. When she lifts up her head he is looking at her with a questioning look.

"I am not shocked at all, my Lord. I just remembered that I felt the same way before I knew that Morgana is your sister. I felt like a knife was going through my chest just watching the banter between you."

"You thought Morgana and I were …?" Arthur laughs so loud he falls on his back. "Even if she were not my sister, Morgana and I are the least suited people to get married. We would kill each other within moments of being married. But really Gwen, we have to find a reason for you to cry off. I cannot carry on with you behind Ewan's back especially in the condition he is in. I know you wouldn't either. We have to find a way and do it soon. I can't share you; I am just selfish that way." He ends on a teasing note although Gwen knows that what he said is all true.

"Neither can I, my Lord. I want you all to myself. I never knew that I was selfish until I met you." She says coyly. She is rewarded with a soft kiss and then another and then another…until Arthur jerks away suddenly, standing up in haste. He swiftly reaches for his sword, drawing it out of its scabbard.

"Arthur, what…?"

"Sh-h-h…Someone's is watching us. Stay behind me. I will protect you."

Gwen swallows hard, fear stopping her from protesting that she is not a helpless female who needs to be protected.

"Declare yourself!" Arthur calls, deciding to let whoever has been watching them that he knows they are there and thereby forcing them to make themselves known. To their surprise Leon, Elyan, Gwaine and Percival appear from behind the shrubs that are scattered around their chosen area of repose. Relief at realizing that they know the intruders is soon taken over by anxiety at the possibility that they had witnessed their little canoodling earlier on. By the looks on all the four men they probably had. The three knights are blushing and looking everywhere else except at their monarch, while Elyan's temple vein is ticking, a sure sign of anger as Gwen very well knows.

"Gentlemen! You gave us a fright," Arthur ventures either oblivious to the building tension or choosing to ignore it completely.

"Our apologies sire. It was not our intention to frighten you," Leon, Arthur's right hand man, mumbles miserably, looking like he would rather be anywhere but there.

Elyan 's eyes are drilling holes into Arthur, a fact that does not go unnoticed by his sibling. That could only mean one thing. The knights, or at least Elyan, know what has been going on. Gwen knows that Elyan has a temper and cannot be trusted take it quietly. _Shoot!_

The knights are shuffling their feet, clearly wishing to be far away from whatever is about to explode.

"So gentlemen, why are you here. Has something happened?"

Before anyone can answer there a shout and within moments they are surrounded by men that are dressed in grey apparel. The men draw their swords giving their backs to each other forming a circle around Gwen. Gwen would have liked to get back to her horse where her weapons are, but she cannot do that now without running the risk of being captured.

Arthur gives a signal to his knights and speaks to Elyan without turning towards him.

"Elyan, how competent are you with the sword?"

"I can take down a few of them I'm sure. Gwen, here is my dagger. You remember what to do?"

"Of course, little brother."

"Gentlemen, whatever you do, protect Gwen with your lives. If we fight in this formation we can cover each other backs. And Gwen, please stay within this circle. Are we all clear?"

"Arthur no, you cannot risk your lives for me."

"Gwen, no time for arguments. Gentlemen you have your orders. Gwen is to be protected at all cost."

Gwen bristles at the order but common sense forces her to realize this is indeed not the time to reassert her independence. So she meekly lets it go, promising herself that she would deal with it later. Her mouth set in a thin line, she gets into a defensive position. Elyan smirks discretely, almost pitying the young king, having had an unfortunate encounter with Gwen the Fierce when they were younger.

The bandits descend on the small group like flies on a carcass, making noises meant to cause fear and confusion. The knights are calm and ready for battle. They bandits attack in a haphazard manner and Arthur can tell they are not very skilled warriors. Their advantage is numbers and they probably hoped to wear the small group out. They had not counted for most of the men being so well trained having spent great amount of time in training. Soon the bandits' numbers were greatly reduced. One managed to lure Elyan away from his original position and a moment later a cry escapes him as the bandit catches his right arm. On instinct, Gwen rushes to his side distracting the knights for a second. Arthur cusses, realizing the vulnerable position Gwen is in. He deals more forceful strikes to his opponent, in a bid to dispose of him quickly so that he could rush to Gwen's side.

Meanwhile the bandit that had injured Elyan smirks at Gwen recognizing the opportunity that had presented itself. He moves away from Elyan, considering him less of a threat and advances towards Gwen. The bandit is not close enough for her to use the dagger and she does not want to throw it and in case she misses. Instead Gwen grabs Elyan's sword, which unfortunately is too heavy for her making her movements jerky and inaccurate when she tries to swing it. Within moments, the bandit gets rid of her sword and has her in a death grip, her back against his chest with his sword against her neck. Arthur disperses of his enemy, turns and almost blows up in anger when he sees Gwen being held so. The rest of the knights are down to their last opponents and quickly defeat them only to realize the situation Gwen is in.

"Put down your weapons now if you ever want this lady here back in one piece."

Arthur grits his teeth in ire. His eyes pierce the bandit's and his voice turns into a menacing growl. "If you break just one strand of her hair, you will rue the day you were born."

The knights see the bandit almost shake in his boots recognizing the sincerity of the threat. His eyes waver for an instant and then he strengthens his resolve backing away dragging Gwen with him.

"Stop right there! Don't come any closer or I swear I will slice her throat."

Arthur drops his sword, his hands in the air, his eyes never leaving the bandit's. "Here, you can take me, leave the lady alone."

The man's eyes turn wild with fear and confusion. "No, I said don't come any closer. Stay where you are. The lady and I are going for a ride alone. If you follow, you would have sealed the lady's fate."

Arthur sneers nastily. "Oh no, oh no my man. You are not going anywhere with that young lady. You just don't know how precious she is. Oh, no you definitely will not take her away; not while I am still alive. So let's make a bargain. Why don't you fight me and if you win you can take her with you." Arthur makes as if to pick up his sword. The bandit in panic takes the sword from Gwen's neck and points it in Arthur's direction, swinging it threateningly.

"No! Don't pick up your sword. You are in no position to bargain with me. I have the upper hand. I have your young lady and I know you will not do anything to cause harm to her."

Arthur smirks. First rule of combat- never show any signs of fear to your enemy. "So it would seem we are at an impasse. Um-m so what are we to do my good man? You see you are right, you do have leverage because you see, that young lady is indeed worth more than you can imagine. I will fight to my last dying breath for her. So how are we going to resolve this?"

The man is no longer paying attention to Gwen's movements and does not see that she has a dagger until it is sticking painfully out of his thigh. The man drops his sword yelping in agony.

Arthur rushes to her side engulfing her in a bear hug.

"Guinevere, darling! Don't ever do that again. You will make my heart stop." He buries his face in her curls that look relieved to escape the confines of the ban they had been in. He forgets about the knights and Elyan in his relief and does not notice the seething looks emanating from the lady's brother.

"Gwen! Remove yourself from that man's embrace this instant."

"Elyan…"

"No sire this is not right, you and my sister. Can I speak to you on the side my Lord?"

"Elyan Edward Leodegrance! You will not speak to him in that manner and you will not speak of me like I am not here." Gwen objects. Elyan is shocked at the way Gwen almost sounds like their mother used to when she was angry.

"Elyan, you are hurt and you need attention immediately. You are bleeding and we are a distance from your home. Can this not wait until later?" Leon tries to bring sanity to the matter.

He gives in reluctantly but still warns. "You will allow me to speak to you later though, won't you my Lord?"

"As you wish. Gwaine kindly bind Elyan's wound to stop the bleeding until he can get it attended to. Here you may use my tunic." He tears a piece of fabric from his tunic and as he does Gwen gets a glimpse of his hard stomach muscles. She stares entranced then turns away, a red hue seeping up her cheeks as she notices Elyan and Gwaine watching her. Elyan rolls his eyes while Gwaine winks at her, a wicked smile on his face as he playfully punches Arthur on his shoulder much to Elyan's chagrin. He grits his teeth to stop himself from saying things that could get him hanged.

Gwen looks at the bandit who still has not stopped filling the stratosphere with despicable profanities.

"I think you should do the same for that poor man as well."

"Gwen that 'poor man' wished to cause harm to you."

"Arthur, if you don't then I will. I will not watch this man bleeding to death."

Arthur sighs. _Ah-h stubborn females_! Arthur tears another piece of fabric from his tunic grudgingly giving it to Percival to bind the bandit's bleeding leg.

"The bandit comes with us. He might prove a useful source of information."

"Yes Sire."

"Leon, I assume you came looking for us for a reason?"

"Indeed my Lord. We looked for you until Merlin told us you had probably gone riding. The groom is the one who pointed us in the direction you most likely took and told us you had offered to escort Lady Guinevere as he feared for her safety."

"Clearly he should have been more wary of the danger _you_ posed to her than from any bandits," Elyan mumbles.

"Elyan.."

"It is true, so who is going to protect you from the protector."

"Elyan, I am warning you…" Gwen's fists are balled in anger. Elyan knows that he can go so far with his sister so he moodily goes quiet.

"Clearly Elyan has things that he needs to get off his chest. We cannot begrudge him that right?" Arthur says trying to dissipate the tension.

"Oh thank you. You are ever so kind sire." Elyan replies sarcastically. Percival looks like he is about to object but Arthur lifts up his hand to stop him.

"Alright men. Let us make our way back. Lady Guinevere may I kindly help you get on your horse?" Arthur says.

'Of course, Sire." She smiles at him while feeling a sudden urge to stick her tongue out childishly at Elyan. She understands his concerns but does not excuse his rude behavior. They were brought up better than that. Her mother must be turning in her grave at such behavior surely.

They are well on their way when Arthur asks again why the party had come searching for them. The knights look at each other seeming unsure how they should break the news they have.

"So..?" Arthur prompts.

It is Elyan who has no qualms supplying the answer once again.

"Well Sire, you will be glad to hear that while you were out enjoying yourself with my dear sister, Ewan awakened."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I'm so sorry this update took so long but I have been very sick and had neither the strength nor inspiration to write. I'm okay and recovering at home. Since it has been so long, I decided to make this chapter longer than I normally make them. Thank you if you are still reading this and reviewing.**

**This chapter is very reflective and full angst so… I have warned you. As you read this please remember both Arthur and Gwen are young and their love is newly discovered. In this time period society was different and children were brought in a much different way and girls more sheltered than we probably were. This chapter reflects the consequence of such upbringing.**

The trip back to the Leodegrance castle was made quietly except for a few comments here and there from Elyan and also if heated scowls to him from Guinevere also count as verbal communication. Each man and woman seemed to be buried in their own thoughts. To say things are awkward at that point would be been a gross understatement. The trip that had previously been done quickly before now seemed to stretch endlessly before the party. It seems that unconsciously they each in their own way and for different reasons dreads what the end of their journey would bring. At some point the bandit had regained consciousness and occasionally grunted most likely from the pain elicited by the movement of the horse.

Arthur keeps throwing furtive glances at Guinevere trying to reassure and maybe gain reassurance but the said lady's shoulders are tense and her back straight as she keeps her gaze ahead of them. Arthur has no other way of gaining her attention without alerting the rest of the men. After witnessing Elyan's prowess with the sword, he has no desire to provoke him any further, lest there be dire consequences. He realizes that the younger man has a fiery temper which sometimes could be matched by his Guinevere's; but also that he is very protective of his sister. Since it is just the two of them left, Arthur understands the need for Elyan to do so. He also realizes that Elyan's displeasure for him probably stems from the fact that he does not yet know the extent of his feelings for his sister. Arthur does not mind but he would rather have the younger man rooting for him than against for him to have even a hair's breadth's chance of being with Guinevere. He momentarily draws his gaze away from Guinevere to Elyan and finds the younger frowning at him. _I really need to have a chat with Elyan before I begin to develop blisters from those scorching looks._

As they reach the castle, the tension seems to have gone a notch higher, if that is even possible. Even the bandit's groans have lessened. Arthur grows more anxious not sure what Ewan's regaining consciousness would mean for him and his love. Truth be told he had been blocking the possibility of that happening from his mind all the time that he had been with Gwen. There is no way that he would have wished for Ewan's death. The knight is a good man and knight and loyal to a fault but he knows that now that he knows that Gwen loves him and not Ewan, he would move heaven and earth to ensure that they would be together. Not very noble, one might say, especially since it means the betrayal of a fellow knight and loyal subject, but he just cannot fathom being able to give up the love of his life. He knows he is willing to fight for a future with her, public opinion be damned. However, the question is how much Gwen is willing to ensure both their happiness.

Arthur knows how society has made women seem to have very little control over the futures. He knows how women always seem to be under the control of a man; being passed on from one to the other. First from a father or a brother then to a husband. He knows how some women have found themselves married off to men the same age as their fathers without their consent. He knows that society frowns on any attempt to deviate from the norm. He knows how people who do not regard these rules are often shunned by society. Would Gwen have the courage to go against the grain and follow her heart? He is selfish enough to hope that if it called for it, Gwen would choose her heart over societal acceptance. He knows that men are easily forgiven for indiscretions but not women. Once a woman has lost society's good opinion, it is almost impossible to get back in its good graces. It would be easy for him to be forgiven especially being a man and a king; after all who would want to be on the king's bad side; but it is not always the same for a woman even if she were queen. He knows that Gwen is intelligent enough to realize these facts. These are the thoughts that are running through Arthur's head as they make their way back to the castle.

Arthur loves Gwen enough to realize that his asking her to blindly throw caution to the wind and take his hand as he had is selfish and inconsiderate. There is no way that he would enjoy life with Gwen knowing that people whispered and snickered at her behind their back. He wants her to command the love and respect that she deserves. It is not her fault that she had been promised to a man he cares for as nothing more than a brother or the fact that she had fallen in love with someone else. Sometimes life was cruel that way. They were fortunate enough to have fallen in love as they had. Very few of their peers even had the opportunity to do so. They were even more fortunate to discover of their mutual feelings for each other. However, that does not eliminate the complications involved and Arthur knows that the days ahead are not going to be easy on either of them and the people around them. He lifts up his head desperately trying to catch Gwen's eye, just to see a glimpse of the love that had been in her eyes earlier that afternoon; just anything to reassure him and give him hope that she would not throw away their mutual happiness. Unfortunately that said lady seems to be in her own world, probably having the same thoughts as he is. Arthur runs his hand through his hair and sighs in frustration. If only he could have another chance to talk to her, to solidify in her mind the fact that his love for her is strong, unwavering and wanton; that he would be willing to do anything to have a lifetime of happiness with her. Maybe she would have the courage to find a way to be with him. His heart feels heavy and the uncertainty is making it seems like he is carrying bags of wet sand on him.

Arthur knows that whatever decision Gwen is going to make will not be easy and each has its own dire consequences. To some it would seem easy; the choice between love or duty; between a lifetime happiness or one of resignation with one's lot, between conformity and acceptance or being ostracized and being the subject of whispers behind fans in society. He knows better. He knows how unforgiving and cruel society could be. Some people just were not disposed to go against the grain. Morgana's mother had caved in to societal opinions but had deprived Morgana of her heritage and her public acknowledgement as the princess or even queen of Camelot. That Morgana is not bitter about it is a testimony of the good woman she is but he would not blame her if she were sometimes to wonder how different her life might have been if things had gone otherwise. Arthur knows his father had found love with his mother but he also knows that he had regrets concerning Morgana and her mother, some of which he had expressed on his death bed. He had been angry with his father when he first discovered that he and Morgana had been denied the knowledge that they were siblings but it had taken Morgana to help him see that they had in fact grown up as siblings, as they had done together everything that siblings normally do. The only difference had been during their teen age years when there had been awkwardness brought on by the mutual awareness of their sexuality and the hope that some members of the council possessed of him marrying Morgana. As they had grown older, they had discovered that whatever feelings they might have possessed had been fleeting and they were more comfortable as close friends than anything else. With the discovery that they were indeed siblings, the reflection of those few years brought on nothing but disgust and a feeling of sickness at the pit of their stomachs. Such were the consequences of keeping secrets that Uther probably had not anticipated. While he never encouraged their union, he had also not voiced any opinion against it, probably being too afraid he would arouse public suspicion of the relationship between the two young people. To any council member, marriage between the two would be advantageous because although willful and stubborn sometimes, Morgana had been trained in the ways of the court life and had in-depth knowledge of how to conduct herself as a royal and the fact that she was Gorlois had diverted from the norm and bequeathed everything he owned to her meant she came with a very attractive dowry that would ensure Camelot's control of lands outside its border. However, with the death of Uther and the secret 'coming out', all hope was quickly done away with. Even a greedy council could not be seen to condone incest.

Eventually the party begins to see the roof tops of the castle. Arthur starts to give orders to the knights but his eyes remain on Gwen willing her with all his heart to look at him. Unfortunately, his luck seems to have run out for the day. Gwen does not answer his heart's knows that there a good chance that he might not have any time alone with Gwen for a long while. His heart constricts and he cannot believe that earlier on in the day he had been deliriously happy holding her in his arms. He had never wished any good man dead but he has to catch himself several times wishing that Ewan had stayed the way he had been. Did that make him a bad man? He is not sure. Maybe just a man desperately in love who is no sure of what tomorrow held.

The sun is already about to retire into its den as they near the castle. Gwen cannot contain the waves of guilt that wash over her. She flushes as she recalls her behavior with Arthur while her betrothed lay fighting for his life. What kind of woman does that make her? How could she have recklessly abandoned herself into another man's arms while her affianced lay dying? Fresh feelings of mortification feel her heart. Did she even deserve to be with Arthur if she could not be loyal to a good person like Ewan, who had been nothing but good to her? Granted she does not love him as a woman should her husband to be, but she still loves him as a brother which is more than other women of her status could even hope for. He trusts her and she had betrayed that trust. She had never seen herself in that light. She had always thought herself very loyal and upright. Now she realizes that she does not really know herself at all. She had enjoyed being in the radiance of Arthur's love and had not even felt guilty at that time. If Arthur had not brought up the subject of her betrothal, it would have been the last thing on her mind. Her every thought had been of Arthur, of her love for him and his for her and how he made her feel. She had known she loved him but even thinking those feelings were reciprocated had seemed like too much of a fancy to her. When she did discover that he did love her and wanted her in the same way she wanted him, it had gone straight to her heart and her head. Unfortunately reality had quickly reared its ugly head and with it came shame and guilt. Elyan is right; her parents would be ashamed of her. She should have behaved with more decorum. Would Arthur want a woman whose behavior was less than correct?

Gwen knows it had been wrong for Lady Bianca to try and manipulate her, but she is not less guilty. She has played a part in the predicament she finds herself in. Her love for Arthur has not lessened from their time together, but she realizes it has made her act foolishly without thinking of the consequences. What must the knights think of her? She just cannot face their knowing looks. What must Arthur think of her? He had seemed as happy as she had been but surely he must think her lacking in morals to kiss him while she is attached to another man. She cannot even begin to think what she would do if Arthur were to change his mind about loving her. She knows that much as she is mortified about her behavior today, she loves Arthur with all her heart and cannot imagine life without him. If he changes his opinion about her, it would kill her. It is not her love for Arthur she is ashamed, it is a behavior earlier; the things that she had allowed herself to do and the way she had lost all sense propriety.

Ever since her talk with Morgana while still at the palace, she had been thinking about what crying off her engagement to Ewan would mean. She knows it is something that society would frown upon. Even if she did end up being queen, she might never regain the respect from society that she should command as queen. It would be difficult for her and for Arthur. He would always be forced to defend her honor and fight her battles, sometimes even with people who should be on his side. Would he be willing to do that for her, for their love? Would she want him to go through life like that? She knows that he had meant it when he said he loved her, but would he be willing to pit that love against the stability of his kingdom? She knows there were enemies in every kingdom, and that enemies could use any means availed to them to discredit the sovereign. Would Arthur be willing to endanger that peace that his kingdom had enjoyed since his reign started over a woman who was not even a princess?

Gwen is so buried in her thoughts she does not even realize that they have reached the stables until she feels someone tagging on her reins and realizes a groom is waiting to take the reins from her. She looks up to see Arthur waiting to assist her down her horse. Her eyes must reflect her feelings because he looks back at her with concern and something else that is akin to anxiety and Gwen is left confused as to what he would be anxious about. The concern gives her hope but the anxiety makes her heart plummet as she takes it as a sign that he might be regretting the occurrence of that day. She drops her gaze to the ground, trying to hide the tears that threaten to spill from her eyes. She wishes she could be brave enough to ask him but she is not and she does not want to cause him embarrassment as he tries to let her down easily. She would save him the disgrace. She accepts his assistance and lands on the ground gently with his hand remaining on her waist for a moment longer than it is supposed to.

"Gwen…" Arthur starts but Elyan chooses to step forward at that moment curtailing any conversation that could have taken place.

"Thank you, Sire. I will take my sister from your hands now. Gwen?" Elyan offers curtly, his hand extended towards Gwen and she has no choice but to take it. She is not sure if she is disappointed or relieved that Elyan interrupted whatever Arthur had been about to say. Her emotions have never felt so twisted. How could someone be so deliriously euphoric one moment and be so miserable the next. She had always been a good natured person, always reasonable and grounded. She is not used to this new person; this person whose feelings are all jumbled up and is unsure of herself. Is that what love does? Does it make you want someone so badly and the next minute be so afraid of rejection, of losing them? She decides it is probably for the best that Arthur and her had not talked because she cannot imagine how embarrassed Arthur would be if she burst into hysterics begging him never to stop loving her. Just as well she has the other business to deal with.

To her surprise, Elyan does not say much even after they move away from the king and his knights and for that Gwen is grateful. Somehow the farther she moves away from Arthur, the larger the cracks in her heart seem to get. She could not have uttered a single word even if she had wanted to. Elyan leads her into the castle asking her if she would like to go and fresh up and change first before going to visit Ewan. Gwen manages a stiff nod and he escorts her to her door.

If Gwen had turned and looked back before she left the stables, she would have seen the reflection of her feelings on Arthur's face. Is it possible for someone's heart to break and leave them barely alive but standing? If it is not possible then he is a miracle. He touches his chest to feel if he still has a heart- beat. He does not know what to make of Gwen's behavior. Is she regretting her love for him? Has she changed her mind about him? Maybe she has, otherwise why would she not look at him? He had been unable to stop looking at her needing her eyes on him like a plant needs the sun. What is he to do now? He wishes he could go to her and demand an answer. Had he done something to displease her? He understands she could be anxious about Ewan but surely this would have been the time for them to turn to each other for support in order to get through what they were facing. Instead Gwen seems to have retreated into a shell that left him outside in the cold. He shivers at the thought. He would have wanted to talk about some plan, a way forward of sorts. He racks his fingers through his hands again momentarily berating himself for not using their time together wisely. Maybe instead of spending their time trying to satisfy their need to touch, they should have planned something concrete. He would not be in the state he is in now, a state that is worse than the one he had been last night. He now knows what it is like to love her and be loved by her, what it is like to kiss and touch her; to be the focus of that dazzling smile; to be the target of the shimmering pools that are her eyes. Could he even consider letting her go without a fight? Could he let her go without losing his own life? If someone had told him earlier on his day would end like this he would have thought they were crazy. He had envisioned a day where he and his love would kiss to signal the end of the day before they retired. He had even imagined the different places they could sneak to for them to be alone. Now all he feels is a pain so sharp it almost makes him double up; a pain worse than death itself.

"Sire?"

Leon's voice almost makes him jump. Arthur looks around, realizing that he and his second in charge are the only ones left. He blinks several times trying to get his mind to focus on the present and trying to fumble for something to say to his knight.

"Um...m yes Sir Leon." And that is as far as his brains allow him. At any other time he would be embarrassed but right now he just does not have the presence of mind to do so.

"Sire, the other knights have taken the prisoner to the dungeon. Should we ask the physician to attend him before we question him?"

"Yes… of course. That is good."

The knight waits for further instructions that never come. Having grown up around the palace with Arthur, Leon is at a loss, having never had before the misfortune to encounter this side of Arthur. He is used to a decisive Arthur who thinks on his feet and fights like the great warrior he is. Unfortunately for him, he is not so good with discussing feelings either and he has always known to tow the line as far as delving into his king's personal life is concerned. The king might allow him an opinion or two when it concerns combat but he is not sure how he would react to relationship advice. He had reluctantly witnessed the scene between Arthur and Gwen and he had known Arthur long enough to know he would not behave that way with just any lady. In all his years around the palace, he had never seen Arthur take as much notice of a lady as Arthur had done with Gwen. However, knowing the situation surrounding the lady, Leon knows that things are not simple. Leon loves Arthur like a brother and does not want to see him hurt. By the look on Arthur's face though, he is already too late. He wants to help out but he is at loss on how.

Arthur seems to have snapped out of his reverie and starts making his way towards the castle. Leon quietly vows he would give it a few days before he interferes, even though interfering could lose him his head.

Gwen makes her way to the physician's allocated chambers. So far she had been fortunate enough to avoid Lady Brianna who she knows should be bubbling over with excitement. Much as she is happy that Ewan is improving, her heart is understandably heavy knowing sooner or later she has to confront the issue of the betrothal and her impending marriage. She knows avoiding the issue will not solve it but she dreads the despair that will follow whichever decision she makes. As she had been freshening up in her chambers she had come to a decision. She knows her decision will hurt someone but it is not in her to pretend that things remain the same. It would not be fair on the man in question.

She knocks on the door, wishing with all her heart she could be anywhere else but there. When she gets the consent to enter, she opens the door cautiously. The smell of the different roots and concoctions of herbs hit her first before the smell of 'sickness' assaults her senses. It makes her task doubly unbearable as it reminds her of her days preceding her father's departure to the next world.

Sigmond is sitting on a bench eating. She wonders how he can get anything to go down with all the smells in the room. When he notices her, he immediately stands up and bows. The next thing she notices is that Ewan is the only patient remaining in the room.

"Sigmond." Gwen acknowledges his greeting. She feels like she has not been to see Ewan in days.

"Is it true that he awoke?"

"Yes, my lady. He did not awaken for long but his fever has broken and he sleeps easier now." He hesitates before he continues. "He asked for you, my lady."

A lump the size of a fist sits on Gwen's throat. She swallows hard. Ewan's first thought had been of her and where had she been? If she feels any guiltier she will collapse under the weight. Just for good measure the subject of their discussion moves and groans probably due to the pain from the wound. He tries to speak but only a squeak comes out of his throat. The physician fetches a goblet with water and approaches the bed. He silently hands it to Gwen who moves towards the bed knowing he would need her help for the patient to drink. Ewan's lips are cracked and he smacks his lips trying to draw some moisture from his mouth.

"Ewan here, drink some water." Sigmond lifts up Ewan's head and signals Gwen to give him the water. When the first drop reaches his mouth, Ewan momentarily opens his eyes. When he sees Gwen he tries to force the goblet away from his mouth so that he can speak.

"No Ewan, drink, you need the water. We can speak later."

She does not know whether it is because he sees the sense in what she says or maybe it stems from sheer exhaustion but Ewan concedes.

"My lady, do not give him too much. We will give him a little every time he wakes up," Sigmond cautions, before he addresses the patient. "Sir Ewan, please rest."

Ewan tries to pull the physician back uttering something that sounds like "wen".

'My lady I think he wants to talk to you. Please calm him down. He needs a lot of rest to regain his strength and heal faster. I had to bleed him last night to break the fever."

Gwen is baffled and cannot understand why bleeding a person who had lost so much blood would break a fever but it since it seems to have worked she supposes she should thankful.

"Ewan, I am here. Try and rest. I will be here when you wake up, I promise." It is the least she can do under the circumstance. She keeps repeating the last sentence soothingly while holding his hand until she feels his hand relax indicating that he now sleeping soundly. Moments later her hand is growing numb from lack of movement but she has been left with no choice as every time she tries to take back her hand, Ewan stirs and protests. This is the position Arthur finds them in when he comes in later.


End file.
